SPWA and a Heavy Metal Concert

Heavy Metal Concert

One is not usually keen on modern musich but last night one went to a Heavy Metal Concert in London.

Got to say it was absolutely spiff-o. One watched the band for two hours belting out hit after hit of rollickingly thundering music bringing down the house all over the place

Women in Show Business

Famous Enduring Women

You know one has been hearing alot recently about women in show business.

The general idea seems to be that the Hollywood studios take em in when they are young, stick em in a couple of films for cinema and then get rid of em in favour of the next new thing to hit the town. Or if they last a few more years than that they end up playing stereotypical roles once they get beyond the age of twenty-five, usually this is the role of a mother of two cute little bastardly children.

Pablo Picasso 'Guernica'

Very Nice Picture But Where is the Local Pub?

Guernica was created in response to the bombing of the town of the same name in the Basque Country in northern Spain.

The bombing was undertaken by German and Italian warplanes at the behest of Spanish Nationalist forces, on 26 April 1937, during the Spanish Civil War.

Neil Armstrong: An Obituary

Armstrong and His Trumpet

Today marks the passing of one of the real heroes of the United States of America.

Yes Neil Armstrong, the first trumpet player to walk on the moon, has died at the age of 82.

Before becoming a trumpet playing astronaut he was a United States Naval Officer and had had an exemplary career as a pilot in the Korean war flying 78 missions, 20 of which were for combat: shooting down several Communist Balalaika playing fighter jets.

This'll Lift You Spirits

Having a Ball

Been aware that there has been lots of bad news on the blasted telly lately.

Well I've had enough of it don cha know!!

I've got just the tonic and this time it doesn't involve shooting animals. Yes I know bit boring but well when you've ran out of bullets you have to resort to clubbing the little beggars and I just can't be doing with that sort of thing.

Anyway, when One is feeling a bit hoarse and has ran out of weaponry one listens to this. Best to listen to it as loud as possible and on a decent set of speakers otherwise you just don't get the thundering of the drums. 

And take a look at the funny little conductor. Clearly he's having a ball and if he is why can't I? 

And remember... Loud!!..... and with Decent Speakers!

 

Tony Scott: An Obituary

Thinking of the Kids

Just heard about the death of film director Tony Scott who has died this week.

Scott was a director of action films that left the viewer with no necessity to use their brain. In fact the less brain you used the more chance you would stand of being able to make it to the end. In this sense his work mirrored his life as he clearly wasn't thinking when he left his two young sons completely fatherless.

Pussy Riot

Riotous Assembly

Just heard about the Russian Musical Ensemble called 'Pussy Riot' What in the name of Jove's Jockstrap is going on there then? 

These young ladies performed a political protest song in the middle of a church sermon. Thus upsetting the congregation and the like. Apparently they were protesting against the close links between the Russian Orthodox Church and President Vladimir Putin.

50 Shades of Grey: Review

Mild Walk in the Park

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E.L.James set largely in the American city of Skidadle, it traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. 

Apparently this book is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism or BDSM as Lady Dooms-Patterson calls it. 

Well I've read this novel and I can tell you now that there's no more BDSM in this novel than what I used to get when I was at school in Harrow.

The Mona Lisa

Mystery Smile Solved

The Mona Lisa or La Giaconda as they say in Italy.

Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci a long time ago this painting has come to encapsulate not only an era when women were supposed to hold mystery to men but it also encapsulates the mystery of the painter himself. An enigma of a man who made very good seafood vol-au-vonts (apparently)

Anyway, her smile has beheld mankind ever since its first display. The slightness of its inflexion, the curve of its lip, the colour of its skin. The message she was trying to convey, was it one of sadness, loss, grief or some or all of these. 

Or was she just a tease? Trying to tempt Leonardo away from his work with the promise of her heavenly body for him to take hold of and thrill her for eternity.

John Constable 'The Hay Wain'

Take a look at this 19th Century painting by P.C. John Constable.

After leaving the police force he took up painting and was considered to be relatively experimental because he enjoyed painting landscapes which were not critically acclaimed by the art world in England at that time.

However, in France he won awards for his work inspiring a new generation of painters like Delacroix.

Every Breath You Take

Read these Lyrics! Go on Just read them!

Every breath you take

He'll be watching you

And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take

Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

Madonna Tit

Showed a Tit and is a Tit

That blasted woman Madonna is at it again.

Not contented with boring the entire planet senseless with her one-trick pony career for the last thirty thousand years she’s now exposing her micro-bosom to everybody on tour! This woman is clearly on Crystal Meths.

It’s a disgrace! Doesn't she have a moral compass? She's a right tit! (which incidently was what she was exposing) This woman needs to be taught a lesson but you just can't reason with people like that.

Graffiti

This'll keep the walls clean!

One has noticed a general decline in society over the last few years don't cha know.

One is talking about graffiti! What does any of it say? What the devil does it mean?! As far as one is concerned it is a hideous monstrosity that needs to be dealt with. You can't just go round defacing public walls willy-nilly!

Escher!

Look at this picture. Just look at it! It took me five Gin & Tonics to get my head round this thing so I can't begin to imagine how many he'd had just to draw it!

I'd bet my last shilling that the swine who drew this was a socialist! This is exactly the sort of rubbish a socialist would come up with.

Shark in Shit!

Artist in Continent.

Went to an art gallery the other day. This is what i saw. Just what in God’s name is this supposed to be?

Shark in formaldehyde? Shark in formaldehyde? I can see its a shark in formaldehyde because it's got 'Shark in Bloody Formaldehyde' written on the side of the damn thing!

What's the point of putting a shark in formaldehyde if you are just going to call it ’Shark in Formalde-Sodding-Hyde.

Is Madonna Bored?

Nothing to do all day.

Just heard about a singer called Madonna who has recently released yet another long play record.

As far as I recall she has been doing this sort of thing for the last thirty bleeding years.

Apart from that and prancing around stages all day she doesn't seem capable of doing anything else? What a loser!

I mean she doesn't even have a vineyard.

This woman needs to get a life!!!

Still got the old banter

Last wife and Least!

One recalls the words of the last wife as she stormed out of the house,

'You'll never find another woman like me!!' 

Whereupon she turned to walk out the door

To which One responded

'One bloody hopes not'

It's just great being me!

Capitalist Woman!

One can scarcely contain one's anger for much longer! Modern society has completely objectified women to an extent never before seen in the history of mankind. Just look at this photograph.

By forcing women to be thin Captialism has subjugated them to a second class existence no different to what it was 100 years ago. 

More Wit

That Totty Mrs Totti

Was at another function last night when I was told by Lady Hilda Dooms-Patterson or Doomers as we call her, that her friend Mrs Margarita Totti  from Italy was dropping by.

Doomers went on to tell me that Mrs Totti was a bit of a sight to behold and that I was to keep my hands off of her and under no circumstances was I to be a Lothario because Mrs Totti was married.

One retorted

 'Make sure you remind Mrs Totti that she is married before she meets me'

By Jove one still has got the old whit don't cha know!