The New IPad

IDamage

I say! Just been given one of those IPads from those Johnnies at a business called Apple! They gave me one before it's release tomorrow! Now they are a really nice collection of fellows. Really friendly and open. Just the sort of chaps that that the chaps like.

Anyway, the IPad is an absolute wonder. It's so simple and easy to use that one wonders how one ever did without it. I can't get enough of the thing

Iran's Nuclear Matter

Just been reading about these Iranian jonnies trying to get a hold of a nuclear bomb. I thought that man in charge was completely doolally! What's the point of letting people like that get hold of a nuclear bomb? I mean the first thing that sort do with nuclear bombs is bomb people.

I say he should be dealt with and pronto. And what is the best way to do that? I'll tell you the best way; round him up, put him in a field and nuke the bastard stinker!! That's the only language that sort understand!

My Arse

Two arses 

I had to open the kitchen door with my arse today! That servant strike is on day number five and there are no stinkers dogs-bodies servants left on the estate to clear up after one!!

Had to make ONESELF a blasted coffee today! The indignity of it all! Picked up the coffee, stuck the newspaper under my arm, picked up the biscuit tin

The Savant Servants are Striking

Blithering Idiots!

The blasted servants have gone on strike! Again! Just what on Earth is that all about?! I pay these stinkers to do work and what do they do? They don't do it!

I mean what is the point of hiring someone to do a job and then they turn to me and say 'I'm not going to do it?' I mean what is the bloody point that was what I hired them for! These people aren't employees they're Communists!

God Gave Us Condominiums.

One's Personal top floor Condo

Since one's pilot's licence was taken away by those ghastly people at the C.A.A. one has been attempting to emulate the feeling of flying in many ways; drifting aloft, sailing in the wind, casting aspread one's wings with utter freedom. Usually the results have been disappointing.

However, yesterday one hit upon an aspect of being as free as a bird with roaringly good results. It was just a question of putting two and two together. You see one owns and occupies the top floor of a Southern French condominium, as indeed in a few other places as well.

Coffee Calamity

Blast!!

• Waited for coffee pot to boil for ten minutes
• Smelled burning coffee
• Realised forgot to put water in coffee pot
• Burned fingers whilst unscrewing hot coffee pot.
• Emptied burned coffee into bin
• Filled pot with water and screwed top of pot back onto base
• Put pot back onto gas ring
• Put milk into cup and put into microwave, switched microwave