Thursday 28 February 2013

Abraham Lincoln: best actor

Lincoln's Portayal of Lewis
Congratulations to Abraham Lincoln for winning the Oscar for best actor in his role as Daniel Day-Lewis.

Apparently, this is the third time that Abraham Day-Lincoln has won an Oscar, something that has never been done before by a former President of the United States of America.

Lincoln’s performance as Day-Lewis, a character actor from Sidcup, shone through as the performance to beat. The film started with Night-Lewis’ life when he went into business as the owner of a very nice laundrette in Birmingham in 1978.

Tuesday 26 February 2013

Milan, Italy: Fascism Week

Incontinent
Italy is an oddball don cha know! Although the last World War ended a few weeks ago the people of Milan hold a festival every now and then and call it Fascism Week.

The week consists of very well dressed and in some cases very bizarrely dressed fascionisti walking up and down a long plank of wood with very serious countenances.

These individuals typically consist of a lot of Nancy-Boys and Girls, all of whom are either  ill, thin or judging from the way they walk, appear to be suffering from gastro-intestinal complications, such as piles or hemorrhoids, diarrhoea, constipation, worms or have an implement such as a bicycle pump or suppository stuck up their backsides. Failing all that they have all shat in their undergarments. What a ghastly shower!

While this poncing about on planks of wood is all very well one doesn't exactly see what on earth this has to do with Fascism. Although the Fascists of 70 to 80 years ago had very smart uniforms and all that sort of thing one can't help but feel something went wrong somewhere. The fascists I mowed down all those years ago were are fit and  healthy lot with an appetite for a good ole scrap! 

This lot of pooves, on the other hand, couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. I mean can you imagine having to go into battle with these incontinents on your side? Of course not! 

If this lot want to walk along a plank then I recommend they do just that, only on one that is tied to the side of ship.

Sunday 24 February 2013

Rihanna: Start Violence Against Idiotic Men!

That's Right, Throttle him!!!
Just been reading about some bint called Rihanna. Apparently she and her last boyfriend, a violent man called Chris Brown.

Anyway Brown and Rihanna split up a while ago because he beat her up in a fit of mad passion according to her and then she left him. Her photographs were all over the newspapers and what have you with bruises and cuts and all that sort of thing.

What gets me is that in this last fortnight there has been a global campaign to end violence against women, yet in the same time she chooses to get back with Brown as she feels as though he is completely misunderstood.

And she is right... she has completely misunderstood him. You can't go around hitting people willy-nilly! What sort of society is it that tolerates that sort of nonsense? And who is she to tolerate that sort of nonsense too. 

If there is to be a global campaign to stop violence against women then at least those in the upper eschealons of the media world can set and example and join in! It's a disgrace!

There is only one thing to do with women like this, slap em around! That's the only sort of language they understand!

Saturday 16 February 2013

Oscar Pistorius: The Trial

Oscar Pissedasafarticus with Guitar
Just heard the charges brought against Oscar Pistorius.

The clown has been charged with shooting his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp dead. 

In his defence Pissedonabus claims that he heard a burglar in the house, shot first then asked questions, simple really.

However, the neighbours story is entirely different. They claim to have heard shouting between Pissedoffruis and Steenkamp, followed by gunshots.

Now I don't know about you but people shouting their heads off followed by gunshots equals a pretty sticky situation. It is impossible to make any claims at this juncture but one thinks this is a clearly a case of 'Leg Envy.' I mean have you seen hers? They are just the ticket if you ask me.

If Oscar Pissedasafarticus thinks he can get away with this then he has another thing coming, for me the odds are stacked against him. The fool clearly hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Friday 15 February 2013

Oscar Pistorius: The Truth

Nice Legs, better than his
Just been reading about the bokker Oscar Pistorius.

Apparently the damn fool went and shot his girlfriend dead on Valentines day. Well that's not very romantic is it? One usually takes one of one's girlfriends to a restaurant or hiking in the countryside. What kind of a man does he think he is?

One can imagine that the answer to that question is 'not much.' Which incidently, is exactly what you can say about the fellow anyway.