Cyber-Bullying

Seems to me that the latest hullabaloo the press have got their claws into is cyber-bullying!

Well despite the press being a motley collection of arses they appear to have got something right for a change.

Cyber-bullying is a modern phenomenon whereby a youngster connects to a social web site of some description and converses with complete strangers. The strangers, after offering endless platitudes to their victim, then start to hurl abusive comments and suggestions to their victim that they should consider ending their own lives. 

This is pitiful! Just what in God's name is wrong with these people?  They are an absolute shower. One can scarcely contain one's disgust at this outrage! I have only one thing to say to these people! Bloody well stand up for yourselves!

If you are going to end it all just because some bufoon calls you an oik then you might as well go and hang yourself!! The damn lot of you. You're probably ugly as well and your mummy shits in plastic supermarket bags. If you people weren't so damn obese you would be able to get out of the blasted bedroom and go out and do a bit of exercise instead of lounging around on your great arses wallowing in your own blubber.

As I see it the best way to put an end to cyber bullying is for you weaklings to go outside, find a nice quiet spot in a forest and then put a bullet through you head. Hell is waiting for you you ugly, B.O. ridden, incontinent, bedragglehorn. If you're too much of a coward to do it yourself then send me your details and I'll send the boys round to ....

THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN TERMINATED BY THE BLOGGER.COM BOARD OF TASTES AND DECENCY. WE DO HOPE THAT WE HAVEN'T SPOILED YOUR ENJOYMENT TOO MUCH.

Adele: Not a Fat Cow!

Not Half a Ton

Just been reading about a popular singer called Adele. Aside from the fact that she also has here own brand of personal computers she apparently also has a very good singing voice. Now this is all tickety-boo but the media, as usual, appear to have a problem with her weight.

In fact the blasted media seem to have a problem with everybody's weight. Apparently, one must be the perfect weight because one never finds oneself in the newspapers or silly magazines in reference to this matter. But one digresses.

In an interview with 'Marie Curie' magazine Adele put the entire matter of her size to rest by saying simply  

'I don’t make music for eyes, I make music for ears.'

Trayvon, Zimmerman, Dooley & James. Legal Clarity in the USA

Guess I must have done it!

One likes clarity in all sorts of things, for example whether to shoot animals or not to shoot animals. To eat Beef Wellington or to not Beef Wellington etc. As far as one is concerned clarity extends to the law of the land too but in this country one finds it all double-dutch. 

However, those forever innovative Johnnies in the United States of America and particularly the Southern State of Floride which is named  after a toothpaste ingredient. The Floridians have sought to make their laws tip-top transparent for everyone to see and understand. 

In particular the recent George Zimmerman case saw the man let off despite shooting a Black American teenage boy called Trayvon Martin, whom was unarmed despite Zimmerman, claiming that the boy was. Zimmerman, a chappie of Hispanic origins, although why that would be with a German name of Zimmerman, claimed self-defence.

Guess the Other Guy Did it

Then the following week another case in which a Black Jamaican chappie called Trevor Dooley, although why he is Jamiacan with an Irish name is also beyond me, also in the state of Floride was found guilty of killing his neighbour a Mr David James in a dispute over a skateboard despite claiming self defence. Hmmmm...

Upon reviewing both these cases it seems to me that the legal system in the State of Floride has been simplified and clarified so no person living there can construe its legal system with the slightest ambiguity:

• If you're white you're innocent
• If you're black you're guilty

One knows one is a bigoted old fart that doesn't give a monkey's arse about anyone but even these two cases take the biscuit! One supposes that it is not called Disneyland for nothing.

Ivory Coast Prison Solutions

Prison Barge

Just been reading about a ghastly little prison riot in the town of Abidjan on the Ivory Coast. The prison houses some of the Ivory Coast's most lethal little shits the country has every produced.

Their notoriety was compounded and exacerbated by the civil war there are few years ago in 2011 in which only two or three British people had to leave their premises for the United Kingdom. Thousands of local people were also killed. 

So the prison is home to many of those accused of war crimes, indeed former President Gbagbo Baggins and his wife were even there at one point before being carted off to the Hague in Holland for crimes against Huge Manatees. Strange, I thought Manatees lived in the New World! So anyway the riots are being conducted by inmates and some of them have been killed.

Well it's just not good enough!! You need to show this complete shower of individuals who is in charge by taking charge! You can't ask em politely to pull themselves together and snap out of it! These people are sick.

So my remedy is quite simple. First thing close the prison down. Then move all the inmates, pronto, to a new facility. This can easily be done sharpish by putting them all on a prison ship there are many of them available, for instance I saw one in a documentary on the telly the other day. It was very large, had lots of space, could even fly and it was called Battlestar Galactica. Once on board, give the prisoners some decent nosh and something to do and that'll soon have em quietening down. 

Then, when the ship is full with this detritus criminal scum you can move on to the next stage. For me this is the most important part but there is the problem of not only how to sink it but also where. Sink it wrongly and you may only capsize the damn thing leaving some of the inmates alive. Then even if you do sink it properly you may sever an oil pipeline or a telegraph cable.

Abu Sakkar: Cannibal and Animal?

Sakkar

Just been reading about a chappie called Abu Sakkar. This man, like so many others is involved in the current ghastly little war in Syria.

This war is one of those civil wars which by their very nature are nasty little blazers that put father against son, neighbour against neighbour, restaurant manager against restaurant manager and generally everybody against everybody else.

Anyway this one in Syria has been ongoing for the last two years or something like that and it is the first full scale civil war that can be watched on youtube, internet and all that sort of thing.

Anyway this Abu Sakkar has proved himself to be a nasty, savage fellow of the lowest possible moral declination because he cut out the heart of one of his foes and then proceeded to eat it! I mean can you imagine that!? It’s a disgrace! What kind of man is that? This is inhuman! I can scarcely contain my abhorrence a moment longer and The Lord alone knows what Miss Jennifer Aniston thinks about this!! She must be horrified!! 

Aniston: Horrified

I mean even when my regiment was involved in the Mau Mau uprising at our lowest ebb we didn’t stoop this low with our captured foes. No Sir by Jimeny we did not!

No what we did was to lightly sauté the heart first in a flavoured butter and serve it in a nice white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic, all washed down with a crisp, clean and if I may say a rather fruity little Jean-Marc Brocard Chablis Vau de Vey 1937.