Sunday, 5 August 2012

Olympic Shooting Sport



Found a Volunteer?

Just been hearing and reading lately about the Shooting competition in the Olympic games.

People have been complaining that it is dull. One feels one must point out that this is a very important sport with just as much validity as javelin, discus the 400m and whathaveyou. They all test a chap's abilities on the field and his competence with a weapon.

Granted the shooting is pretty static but one has a suggestion to breath a bit of life into it.

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Lethal Drone Hits America

Drone
This is the weapon that everybody fears all around the world.

It is a drone that holds no mercy killing and maiming indiscriminately without feeling or empathy to all who stumble upon it.

It's methodology is simple. It hovers around for years on end until it can find a gap in the television schedules and then it inserts itself into that gap and hogs the screen for as long as possible.

Friday, 3 August 2012

Has Bean?

Good God what in Beelzebub's Balls was this clown doing in the Olympic opening ceremony? Making a complete arse of himself that's what he was doing.

He's another one who has had nothing else to do for the last 25 years except attract attention to himself. The fool does this by doing nothing other than pulling stupid expressions on his face and mumbling like a complete shower! Just like that woman Madonna.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Olympic Women's Badminton Teams disqualified!

No Idea About Cheating! A Disgrace!
Just read about the hoo-haa about the Olympic Badminton teams being disqualified!

Apparently the teams from China, South Korea and Indonesia were throwing the game so they could get an easy ride to the finals. Their tactic was to play badly in the heats but not so bad as they would get thrown out of the competition.

They did this by playing deliberate faults, playing into the net and generally looking very silly. In one game the umpire stepped in to sort them all out but even he failed. The teams even started getting booed by the audience as they were playing so obviously bad. The whole thing was a set up!

I mean who do these people think they are?! They're a disgrace! Fancy getting caught! Don't these people know how to cheat properly? You don't do it infront of thousands of people you bribe the umpires. Alternatively you can put laxatives in your opponents water. Even better you can crap yourself on the court and pretend that the opponents have put laxatives in your water. Then you will see them get disqualified, which is a bit more like it.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Lose Friends and Pass Effluence on People
Can't think of a more pointless book to read! Can't the author see that he has completely missed the point of life?

It's all about money! Money! Where in the book was the bit about Money? It's all very well him telling everyone what to do to be very popular AND influence them but what about if you don't want any friends. Well I don't have friends so what has he got to say about that?

No Sir By Jimeny I have servants (before they went on strike) I've been winning servants for years without having to be nice to them. Yes that's right I thrash the living crap out of em don'cha know!

And you can forget the influence too. I use effluence! Several buckets of that and the promise of an endless supply and the blighters will soon be doing anything you tell em to do, that's what makes the world go round!