How to Win Friends and Influence People

Lose Friends and Pass Effluence on People

Can't think of a more pointless book to read! Can't the author see that he has completely missed the point of life?

It's all about money! Money! Where in the book was the bit about Money? It's all very well him telling everyone what to do to be very popular AND influence them but what about if you don't want any friends. Well I don't have friends so what has he got to say about that?

No Sir By Jimeny I have servants (before they went on strike) I've been winning servants for years without having to be nice to them. Yes that's right I thrash the living crap out of em don'cha know!

And you can forget the influence too. I use effluence! Several buckets of that and the promise of an endless supply and the blighters will soon be doing anything you tell em to do, that's what makes the world go round!