Ray Harryhausen: An Obituary

Found Up Arse

Just been reading about Ray Harryhausen the legendary visual effects animator who sadly died earlier this week of constipation.

During his long life Harryhausen pioneered research into medication for constipation in the film industry. This was known colloquialy as Stop Motion Visuals although why anyone would want to visualise this sort of thing is completely beyond me. Additionally Stop Motion also gave him a chance to make forays into colonic irrigation, appendicitus, dysentry, gihardia, incontinence and blowing off.

Abraham Lincoln: best actor

Lincoln's Portayal of Lewis

Congratulations to Abraham Lincoln for winning the Oscar for best actor in his role as Daniel Day-Lewis.

Apparently, this is the third time that Abraham Day-Lincoln has won an Oscar, something that has never been done before by a former President of the United States of America.

Lincoln’s performance as Day-Lewis, a character actor from Sidcup, shone through as the performance to beat. The film started with Night-Lewis’ life when he went into business as the owner of a very nice laundrette in Birmingham in 1978.

Hitchcock: Film Review

Hitchcock Plays Hopkins Perfectly

Just Seen an advanced screening of the film ’Hitchcock’ in which Alfred Hitchcock portrays the famous actor Anthony Hopkins.

The film focuses on Hopkins’ role he played, so superbly, as Hannibal Lector in the film ’The Psycho of the Lambs’

Hitchcock plays Anthony Hopkins almost perfectly and there were times when I was convinced that I was actually looking at Anthony Hopkins doing a ridiculous impersonation of Alfred Hitchcock but no!

Anthony Perkins portrays Helen Mirren perfectly in the supporting role of Anthony Hopkins’ wife, Trixabel.

Cass Elliot: Conspiracy Theory

Mama Sandwich & Ham Elliot

One can confirm that Cass Elliot of the Mamas and Papas, that musical ensemble from 1960's California did not choke to death on a Ham Sandwich. No Sir by Jimeny she did not!

Common Legend has it that she did. This rumour started after the Old Bill had raided her abode after she hadn't answered the phone for a few days. As they barged in they found her on the carpet with a half eaten ham sandwich lying next to her body.

Conspiracy Theorists!

You know One is absolutely sick to the tip top of my head with all the conspiracy theories going around about anything.

One has tried to address a couple of conspiracies on this Web Log, one a few days ago and one a few  months ago about President of the United States commonly known as K.F.C. or was that K.F.J or something like that.

Well one thinks that the conspiracy theorists are behind everything! I mean how many of those bleeders were in the Twin Towers when they were hit? Well? How many? None! And how many of them were there when the Fuckishima nuclear power station exploded? None! Furthermore how many of them were there when that fool Timothy McVie blew up that large government building in that movie 'Oklahoma?' Again None!

9/11 Conspiracy Theory

This is the real reason why the Twin Towers Fell:

Two Godzilla shaped Conspiracy Theorists thought their

Conspiracy was better than the bla bla bla....

Got this air-tight, tip-top conspiracy theory as to what actually happen on 9/11 in those dreadful events in New York, Washington D.C. and a field in Pennsylvania back in 2001.

It's a very controversial theory but the evidence backs up everything I say so prepare yourself.

Some codger called Bin Laden, who was in possession of large amounts of anger management issues, told a few of his cohorts to fly aeroplanes into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania.

The cohorts promptly jumped on a few aeroplanes, wrestled control of the things from the pilots and then flew them into the Twin Towers, the Hexagon and a field in Pennsylvania.

J.F.K. Conspiracy Theory

Out of His Head

One has devised a water-tight tip-top theory regarding the Kennedy Assassination. It's very controversial but the evidence backs up everything I say so prepare yourself!

J.F.K. was assassinated by a chap called 'Lee Harvey Oswald.!! The man was hid in a book suppository waited for J.F.K. to scoot past in his motor, fired off a few rounds and then 'bob's your uncle' out blew J.F.K's brains and the man's clogs were popped.