Astronaut Chris Hadfield: Commander?

Man in Command

Just seen a video of Commander Chris Hadfield singing David Bowie’s number one hit song entitled ‘Space Oddity’ on the International Space Station.

In it we see numerous shots of planet earth in all it’s resplendent glory, the moon, the International Space Station, from both inside and out, while Hadfield sings his merry ditty. On one occasion the man even seems to shed a tear.

Well these are not the attributes of a Commander if you ask me, they are more like the attributes of a Silly Billy! When I was in the Durham Light Infantry my Commander, Uncle 'Slasher' Ware-Armtage would get through at least two proles per day and that was of his own men! Now that’s what I call a commander!

I mean how many people had this Hadfield man shot on this mission? None! In my day a good mission wasn’t a good mission until we had lost at least half of the platoon, not prancing around weightlessly singing songs from popular culture! It’s a disgrace!

And as for singing, well the only songs we were allowed to sing were Colonel Bogey and God save the Queen. None of this namby-pamby wuss-encrusted pish-posh from this ill-moustachioed weightless ponce!

Gone are the days when a real commander would strap innocent men to the end of a cannon and blast their sorry entrails across vast swathes of occupied territory with impugnity. Gone are the days when we could strap high explosives to people's dogs, let them go, wait until the animal got back into its home and then detonate the lot, sending the occupants into oblivion! Gone are the days when we could shoot a man from afar, wait until a crowd had gathered around him to see if the chap was alright and then we would open up on them with the flame throwers. Gone are the days when a....


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