Piers mOrgan Deportation Petition

Nazional Rifle Association

One has just read that there is a petition in the United States to get Piers Morgan deported.

The reason for this is because he spoke out in favour of a stricter gun control within the United States after the Connecticut shootings in which twenty-six people had had their brains splattered all over the place thus dying.

David Shayler Trapped Inside the Body of David Shayler

Someone inside the body of someone else

Look at this. This is David Shayler, the former MI5 civil servant who blubbed about UK government secrets to the press. Clearly with nowhere to go with his life since that episode he has gone into himself to do some soul searching. And what did he find? He found that he was one of those people who are one member of a genital group who thinks they are trapped inside the body of the opposite genital group.

In fact the condition doesn't even have a medical name and the default tital 'Woman trapped inside a Man's body' is merely a façon de parler.

Well one doesn't get it! If this is the case why can't he just try on an appropriate pair of genitally grouped underpants and be done with? And that goes for the lot of em!

Conspiracy Theorists!

You know One is absolutely sick to the tip top of my head with all the conspiracy theories going around about anything.

One has tried to address a couple of conspiracies on this Web Log, one a few days ago and one a few  months ago about President of the United States commonly known as K.F.C. or was that K.F.J or something like that.

Well one thinks that the conspiracy theorists are behind everything! I mean how many of those bleeders were in the Twin Towers when they were hit? Well? How many? None! And how many of them were there when the Fuckishima nuclear power station exploded? None! Furthermore how many of them were there when that fool Timothy McVie blew up that large government building in that movie 'Oklahoma?' Again None!

David Irving - Holocaust Denial

Irving: In Denial

Just been reading about that tricky chappie David Irving.

Irving is a proponent of a theory that the Holocaust never actually happened and that it was all a lie.

Poppycock! Of course it happened! Holcausts have been around for centruries. The Romans were the first lot who organised em when they invaded Britannia in 42 A.D. don cha know!

Their holocausts were rather primative affairs but in essence were the same as 20th Century ones that are known more widely as under-floor heating, designed to keep a house warm in winter time.

Most Roman Villas in Britannia had a holocaust and the evidence is still there today. I know because I saw it on 'Time Team' with that ghastly little actor Tony Robinson.

People like Irving should be ashamed of themselves trying to distort history. There's only one thing to do with people like that, lock em in a room and turn the gas on! That's the only sort of language that lot understand.

Purported Sex Pest Assange Found!!

Freedom to Speak & Rape and Molest?

Futher to my previous post about the purported sex pest Assange in which it was apparent that he had been lost in the Ecuadorian Embassy it transpires he has turned up at a window.

The purported Sex Pest Assange was found standing at a window spouting complete rubbish about how clever he is and that nobody understands him. 

Well he's right! I don't understand him! How he can blabber on about freedom of information yet not return to Sweden on allegations of being a sex pest is beyond me.

Strikes me that the fool needs to read Richard Dawkins' book 'The God Delusion' before highlighting just how clever he thinks he is.

Anyone would think that by the way he conducts himself he is nothing more than a citizen of some crippity crappity corrupt South American tin-pot dicatorship.

Todd Akin: 'Women Don't Get Pregnant'

Doesn't Have Womb, Does Have Arse-Hole

Well Lawks-a-lordy I didn't know that! Some ghastly politico in the U.S.A. named Todd Akin has just revealed that rape victims don't get pregnant...

Apparently women's bodies are more intelligent than their brains and can choose whether or not to have a child conceived through non-consensual sexual intercourse. What is more women are not aware of this..... In fact nobody was except Todd Akin and presumably God too.

Well that's OK then isn't it!! So the purported-sex-pest-Assange doesn't have to face sexual assualt charges in Sweden any longer as the silly arse never endangered any of the women he is accused of fiddling with.

Also, by the logic of Akin, he wouldn't suffer pain if a mugger kicks him in his wedding tackle and he won't have to get diarrhoea if a penny pinching restaurant skimps on the cleaning duties and gives him food poisoning.

Furthermore, he won't bleed if a twit with a knife stabs him and finally he won't drop dead either if a burglar shoots the bleeder between the eyes.

Pussy Riot

Riotous Assembly

Just heard about the Russian Musical Ensemble called 'Pussy Riot' What in the name of Jove's Jockstrap is going on there then? 

These young ladies performed a political protest song in the middle of a church sermon. Thus upsetting the congregation and the like. Apparently they were protesting against the close links between the Russian Orthodox Church and President Vladimir Putin.

Purported Sex Pest Assange in Hiding

Is this the face of a sex pest?

For those not in the know this is Julian Assange the founder of Wikileaks.

This grasser is wanted by every government in the world for publishing their confidential communications, tip top secrets and whathaveyou.  

This snitcher is currently hiding in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London as he's facing extradition to Sweden because of allegations of sexual harrasment, rape and no doubt resembling a crettin.

At the moment the Ecuadorians have granted the dirty rat a Lunatic Asylum... (wish I knew what that meant)

What I don't get is if he's been hiding in the Ecuador embassy for the last two months why haven't they found him yet? One has been passed that embassy a few times and it isn't all that big. At max it would only have twenty rooms. Granted there are many cupboards and filing cabinets in it so the swine could be hiding in one of those but really... Two months! 

He could even be pretending to be a lampshade or a curtain but this is pushing it a bit far don't you think? Surely they must have smelled his B.O. by now?

The bit I find funny about this whole affair is that this man has spent his life dedicated to revealing everything he possibly can about governments, political figures and N.G.O's but isn't prepared to tell anyone HIS own whereabouts?

President Assad and the Conflict in Syria

Can't Buy Time

Just been reading about that beastly regime in Syria run by that ghastly Bashar Al-Assad.

The whole country has been a complete shower for nearly two years with insurgents battling it out against the government. Bashar Al-Assad's dad was in power for nearly forty years before that.

Both sides have been using force but the government has had nothing to hold it back as the international community has done nothing. Consequently it has razed whole towns to the ground killing and injuring thousands!

It's a disgrace. Governments are supposed to look after their people not massacre or over tax them! It could show moral courage by stepping down. Al-Assad's regime is after power for the sake power and the accompanying money that goes with it. All the ruling elite have vast piles of cash in Swiss Banks. They're all a bunch of arses! 

The whole lot of em are in it to use Syria to make cash for themselves! These people are in government for God's sake! They're supposed to be there for their own people not to cash in. They should do the decent thing, step aside, hand all the money back and go and live in exile in Russia not ingratiate themselves with riches and money and expensive luxury goods. Any excuse these bounder can find and they'll try to make a fast buck out of it! There is more to life than money don cha know! 

Anyway regarding the eventual outcome of this fiasco, here are the odds;

• 10/2 .....Lynch-mob captures Assad and shoots him.
• 28/4 .....Assad disappears completely.
• 1000/2 ...Assad beheads himself (bit bizarrre that one!)
• 5/2 ......Assad is caught and put on trial.
• 9/3 .....Assad scurries away to Russia (My Hot Tip) 

Best pay the tax before you put the money on otherwise you'll have to pay a stinker of a percentage if you win. Last thing anyone wants is the blasted tax man getting his hands on our money.

The Laughing Policeman

Licence to Kill?

According to the UK Border Agency this country has over 275,000 failed immigrants living in this country! This is due to government cutbacks and not enough staff. It's a disgrace!

Half of them the government just can't find and the rest can't differentiate between a Claret and a Chardonnay.

Well I've got just the solution to make these people want to go back on the next plane.

That's right, send in P.C. Simon Harwood. The mere thought that this copper is on the case would be enough to put the willies up anyone! Including the innocent.

This policeman with will soon have the lot of these people running for the nearest airport pronto and anyone else too for that matter. That's the only sort of language they understand. Seeing as most of em don't speak English anyway.

Laos; Hilary Clinton Flies In.

Clearing her Bombs

Been reading about Hilary Clinton visiting south east Asia.

Apparently the Yankee fellows dropped so many bombs on the gooks in that place it is officially  the most bombed place in the world per capita.

Also not all the ordinance detonated either! Every year dozens of the locals get blown to smithereens by unexploded bombs and they are not too chipper about it. They want Uncle Sam to foot the bill for the clearing up operation as its horrendous and will take years but i’ve got a faster, cheaper solution. Here it is

1) Get a load of bombers.
2) Load em all up with hundreds of thousands of tons of high explosive bombs
3) Fly the bombers over the affected areas
4) Drop the bombs
5) Get the blazes out of there pronto

If that doesn’t stop the locals getting blown to pieces by unexploded ordinance nothing will.

As you were.

The Servants Strike Back

Pagan Swine!

Good God look what those damn Servants have done! They think that because they are still on strike they can write this sort of verbiage on one's walls.

Well one is not going to stand for it! It's a disgrace! What is one going to do with these people?

Don't they know there is a hyphen between the 'Ware' and the 'Armitage'?

If the pagan swine are going to impugn my reputation they could at least get the grammar right.

Mitt Romney in Sex Scandal Sensation?

Only Fucks Wife

Just want to give my halfpenny worth regarding the Republican party candidate for the post of President of the United States of America, Mitt Romney.

Any rumours of a sex scandal with this man are completely false. This man is a family man with great children and a vast investment portfolio to support them.

His cheer and happiness are there to see for all the world. Why would he embark on an extra-marital affair?  One has never seen such a happy candidate running for this top job.

Socialist Margarine Conspiracy

Blob of Margarine Under Slice of Toast

Was in the Borough Council offices this morning when I saw a blob of margarine on the floor! Disgraceful! 

I pay these people to keep public buildings free of this sort of lunacy!

I approached the information kiosk and told the jumped up little Marxist there all about it! His response? 'ooh I'll use that for my toast.’

J.F.K. Conspiracy Theory

Out of His Head

One has devised a water-tight tip-top theory regarding the Kennedy Assassination. It's very controversial but the evidence backs up everything I say so prepare yourself!

J.F.K. was assassinated by a chap called 'Lee Harvey Oswald.!! The man was hid in a book suppository waited for J.F.K. to scoot past in his motor, fired off a few rounds and then 'bob's your uncle' out blew J.F.K's brains and the man's clogs were popped.

Olympic Games Anti-Terrorism plan!

Osama Been-Laughing?

Would the death penalty would stop a suicide bomber? Of course it wouldn't! It's just silly!

One is sick and tired of all the pithy anti-terrorism measures being enacted by successive blasted governments. All they do is talk and enact laws.

What is needed is action! and Now!

So one has devised a cunning tip top way to put and end to global terrorism and terrorists from carrying out their destructive activities especially at the forthcoming Olympic Games.

It's simple;

•  stage 1 - evacuate London
•  stage 2 - load a bomber up with an atomic bomb
•  stage 3 - fly aforementioned bomber over central London
•  stage 4 - release bomb
•  stage 5 - get the blazes out of there pronto!

With the complete destruction of central London these terrorists wont have a single thing to blow up. That'll show these stinkers who's in charge!

The Perfect Greek Coalition

In need of a Doctor Greece?

Been reading about those Greekies trying to put together a coalition! Well how are they going to do that? 

I mean they can't manage an economy so how are they supposed to manage a coalition. It's all a complete shower!

The last time any coalition from Greece did any good to anyone was the so called 'Greek Doctor' This coalition of four parties works very well indeed. This is how the Greek Doctor Coalition works;

• Two bottles of Ouzo
• Two bottles of Vodka
• Two bottles of Orange juice
• and one bottle of Lemon juice

Mix it all together and then bottoms up! It is worth noting here that One must only use ice with this concoction if there is enough room left in the glass.

Center for Bio-Ethical Reform's Anti-abortionist Methods!

Greg Cunningham
'Look at Me Everybody!'

Just heard this Yankee Chappie, Greg Cunningham, who's coming to the UK to Protest about Abortion!.

Well if that is what the man wants to do then let him. But One doesn't like his methods!

He sticks large graphic pictures of the unborn all over the place in public areas. Doesn't he realise that some people have just eaten breakfast, fast food or a Kebab?!!!

One doesn't want this in One's face willy nilly in public!  Who does this bleeder think he is? People like him should be ashamed of themselves putting material of that sort up in public areas. It's the tactics of desperation!! It's a disgrace!

There's only one thing to do with his sort, take them to a shopping centre or train station and then string them up, draw and quarter them! That's the only sort of language they understand!

Freedom for Chen Guangcheng!!



Who am I? .



 Bravo to Chen Guangcheng for making his bid for freedom!!! He's done it. After two years under house arrest he gave the guards the slip and is on the run.

One despises oppression don cha know! We've been given mouths to speak so let's hear what everyone's got to say.

Apparently after his escape Chin Gunjam then issued a video for the authorities to ponder over.

Although One has to enquire as to why Chan Gundung chose to wear sunglasses to disguise himself? It's not as though it wouldn't help the authorties find Chon whether he had em on or off. I mean they all look the same in that part of the world so what difference would it make?

The President of the United States

Talking Baraks or pure Mitt?

Just writing about the Presidential Candidates in the United States of America for the 2012 Election; Barak Obama and Mitt Romney.

What the blazes were their parents thinking when they named these people. And just who in God's name was Newt?

What happened to good ole fashioned names that have been the mainstay of modern Western Culture. Names like, well Percy for starters, short for Percival and named after Persius of Greek Mythology.

Then there are other great names; Farquhar, was one of my favourites. Then there is my blasted son Cuthbert. Also Quentin, Crispin, Barrington, Tarquin and Tarkwell and don't forget my first ex-wife Blitherington Farquhar-Farquharson.