Shark in Shit!

Artist in Continent.

Went to an art gallery the other day. This is what i saw. Just what in God’s name is this supposed to be?

Shark in formaldehyde? Shark in formaldehyde? I can see its a shark in formaldehyde because it's got 'Shark in Bloody Formaldehyde' written on the side of the damn thing!

What's the point of putting a shark in formaldehyde if you are just going to call it ’Shark in Formalde-Sodding-Hyde.

Olympic Games Anti-Terrorism plan!

Osama Been-Laughing?

Would the death penalty would stop a suicide bomber? Of course it wouldn't! It's just silly!

One is sick and tired of all the pithy anti-terrorism measures being enacted by successive blasted governments. All they do is talk and enact laws.

What is needed is action! and Now!

So one has devised a cunning tip top way to put and end to global terrorism and terrorists from carrying out their destructive activities especially at the forthcoming Olympic Games.

It's simple;

•  stage 1 - evacuate London
•  stage 2 - load a bomber up with an atomic bomb
•  stage 3 - fly aforementioned bomber over central London
•  stage 4 - release bomb
•  stage 5 - get the blazes out of there pronto!

With the complete destruction of central London these terrorists wont have a single thing to blow up. That'll show these stinkers who's in charge!

Doctor Who?

Just see Doctor Who on BBC1. It's nothing but a bunch of silly billies cavorting around attracting attention to themselves. It's completely unbelievable! When was the last time you saw a Doctor with neat handwriting so God only knows how he is supposed to control a space ship.

And here's another thing, when was the last time you saw a space ship in the shape of public latrine? I mean it has to be public latrine otherwise why would they have called it the Turdis? The creators of this programme must have all been on drugs.

Gone are the days of quality televisual broadcasting when Sir David Attenborough would inform all of us in an intelligent rational way about how animals copulated and defecated in fields, instead we are fed this pap that only shows us how easy it is to throw up.

This is how great television used to be.

Is Madonna Bored?

Nothing to do all day.

Just heard about a singer called Madonna who has recently released yet another long play record.

As far as I recall she has been doing this sort of thing for the last thirty bleeding years.

Apart from that and prancing around stages all day she doesn't seem capable of doing anything else? What a loser!

I mean she doesn't even have a vineyard.

This woman needs to get a life!!!

Apple iOS 5.1 Update Review

Recently got the latest Apple iOS update.

This was good news as the drinks cabinet has been running a trifle low on the old Bombay Sapphire fire-water if you know what I mean. Anyway, One was very excited to finally get the update.

Seeing as it is supposed to be the best one so far One immediately set about trying to download a Gin & Tonic from the Claridges web site.