Artificial Intelligence

Intelligence

Right then! I've heard some absolute ARSE in my time but this week I heard something that had more ARSE in it than all the other ARSE I've heard in my time put together. 

Some boffin called Demis Hassabis has been spouting on about how clever he is and also how clever his company called DeepMind is. The boffins at DeepMind have been concentrating on developing artificial intelligence for computers. 

One of the greatest problems with artificial intelligence is the programming. You can fill a computer with terabytes and terabytes of information but that will not make it in the least bit intelligent. For example think of the number of books in the British Library yet if you ask the library a question you'll get an answer akin to your average footballer breaking wind into his breakfast cereal.

Essentially, information isn't intelligence. However, interpretation of information is more like what the boffins are looking for. So what these clever little shits did was to programme a computer that could make it's own interpretation on simple things. When I say 'simple things' I'm talking about things like Kanye West.

Artificial Intelligence

So rather than filling the computer with information they simply told it to make it's own decisions to reach a certain objective. What they then did was to apply that to a simple computer game from the 1980s called Breakwind... sorry I did not mean to write that, I meant to write 'Breakout.' The instruction was a simple one, 'Get the maximum number of points.' So within a very short amount of time it has not only mastered the game but also surpassed the best human player's score.  

Just what the hell is going on with the everybody? These people developed a computer that plays computer games? What the hell is the point of that I ask  you! I mean what is the point of having a computer that plays computer games I mean what is the bloody point it's a computer isn't it! It's not as though the computer needs to have a cigarillo break is it? I mean when was the last time you saw a computer having lunch or going to the toilet? I bet you haven't seen a computer in a dogging car park either so what's the point? 

Artificial

It's about as pointless as storing your fridge inside your oven at regulo 4 to prevent the contents of the fridge from cooking! These people must be sick! Not only that but Google Inc paid half a billion dollars for the Deepmind organisation. Now that's what I call stupid!

Hold on.... They got half a billion dollars for a computer that plays computer games....? These people are genii..! Why didn't I think of that? I must be stupid...