Todd Akin: 'Women Don't Get Pregnant'

Doesn't Have Womb, Does Have Arse-Hole

Well Lawks-a-lordy I didn't know that! Some ghastly politico in the U.S.A. named Todd Akin has just revealed that rape victims don't get pregnant...

Apparently women's bodies are more intelligent than their brains and can choose whether or not to have a child conceived through non-consensual sexual intercourse. What is more women are not aware of this..... In fact nobody was except Todd Akin and presumably God too.

Well that's OK then isn't it!! So the purported-sex-pest-Assange doesn't have to face sexual assualt charges in Sweden any longer as the silly arse never endangered any of the women he is accused of fiddling with.

Also, by the logic of Akin, he wouldn't suffer pain if a mugger kicks him in his wedding tackle and he won't have to get diarrhoea if a penny pinching restaurant skimps on the cleaning duties and gives him food poisoning.

Furthermore, he won't bleed if a twit with a knife stabs him and finally he won't drop dead either if a burglar shoots the bleeder between the eyes.

Pussy Riot

Riotous Assembly

Just heard about the Russian Musical Ensemble called 'Pussy Riot' What in the name of Jove's Jockstrap is going on there then? 

These young ladies performed a political protest song in the middle of a church sermon. Thus upsetting the congregation and the like. Apparently they were protesting against the close links between the Russian Orthodox Church and President Vladimir Putin.

Purported Sex Pest Assange in Hiding

Is this the face of a sex pest?

For those not in the know this is Julian Assange the founder of Wikileaks.

This grasser is wanted by every government in the world for publishing their confidential communications, tip top secrets and whathaveyou.  

This snitcher is currently hiding in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London as he's facing extradition to Sweden because of allegations of sexual harrasment, rape and no doubt resembling a crettin.

At the moment the Ecuadorians have granted the dirty rat a Lunatic Asylum... (wish I knew what that meant)

What I don't get is if he's been hiding in the Ecuador embassy for the last two months why haven't they found him yet? One has been passed that embassy a few times and it isn't all that big. At max it would only have twenty rooms. Granted there are many cupboards and filing cabinets in it so the swine could be hiding in one of those but really... Two months! 

He could even be pretending to be a lampshade or a curtain but this is pushing it a bit far don't you think? Surely they must have smelled his B.O. by now?

The bit I find funny about this whole affair is that this man has spent his life dedicated to revealing everything he possibly can about governments, political figures and N.G.O's but isn't prepared to tell anyone HIS own whereabouts?

President Assad and the Conflict in Syria

Can't Buy Time

Just been reading about that beastly regime in Syria run by that ghastly Bashar Al-Assad.

The whole country has been a complete shower for nearly two years with insurgents battling it out against the government. Bashar Al-Assad's dad was in power for nearly forty years before that.

Both sides have been using force but the government has had nothing to hold it back as the international community has done nothing. Consequently it has razed whole towns to the ground killing and injuring thousands!

It's a disgrace. Governments are supposed to look after their people not massacre or over tax them! It could show moral courage by stepping down. Al-Assad's regime is after power for the sake power and the accompanying money that goes with it. All the ruling elite have vast piles of cash in Swiss Banks. They're all a bunch of arses! 

The whole lot of em are in it to use Syria to make cash for themselves! These people are in government for God's sake! They're supposed to be there for their own people not to cash in. They should do the decent thing, step aside, hand all the money back and go and live in exile in Russia not ingratiate themselves with riches and money and expensive luxury goods. Any excuse these bounder can find and they'll try to make a fast buck out of it! There is more to life than money don cha know! 

Anyway regarding the eventual outcome of this fiasco, here are the odds;

• 10/2 .....Lynch-mob captures Assad and shoots him.
• 28/4 .....Assad disappears completely.
• 1000/2 ...Assad beheads himself (bit bizarrre that one!)
• 5/2 ......Assad is caught and put on trial.
• 9/3 .....Assad scurries away to Russia (My Hot Tip) 

Best pay the tax before you put the money on otherwise you'll have to pay a stinker of a percentage if you win. Last thing anyone wants is the blasted tax man getting his hands on our money.

Young People and Moral Values

Moral Mission

What is it all for hey? I mean one has tried to be good but the youth of today just don't get it?

For example, I was cursed with the necessity of having to go into a shop this morning! Yes that's right the blasted servant strike is still on.

Anyway the youth behind the counter greeted me with 'Awrigh mate?'

Mate? I'm not his wretched mate! Wouldn't be seen dead with that sort in the vicinity.

Modern youth have no guiding principles any more! It's a disgrace! That's what the church was for don cha know, to guide people to give em a firm foundation in life. But not any more eey gads man by heavens not at all.

No when I was a youngster it was totally different! I was guided by strong principles and values based upon peace, tolerance wisdom, respect and love. They made me the man that I am today!

Furthermore, it was this background which gave me the courage and fortitude necessary to fight in the war and hold myself together without losing my mind.

If it wasn't for all this I would never have been able to undertake innumerable peace missions throughout the world against tyranny and oppression. These peace missions brought justice, equality and the rule of law to everybody in the form of literally hundreds of thousands of tons of high explosive bombs dropped on their trains, train stations, residential areas, schools, hospitals churches and heads.