Food From Nowhere?!

Biscuit in Mouth

Tried out a dash of speed dating last night. Was talking to this hottie from Ryhl when all of a sudden this large piece of food appeared at the side of her mouth?!

My God what is the world coming to? Where on Earth did it come from? Anyone would think that she had been storing it there to finish off later on. I mean I had been talking to her for about ten minutes and in that time she had eaten nothing! My God it could have been there since Monday evening.

God Gave Us Condominiums.

One's Personal top floor Condo

Since one's pilot's licence was taken away by those ghastly people at the C.A.A. one has been attempting to emulate the feeling of flying in many ways; drifting aloft, sailing in the wind, casting aspread one's wings with utter freedom. Usually the results have been disappointing.

However, yesterday one hit upon an aspect of being as free as a bird with roaringly good results. It was just a question of putting two and two together. You see one owns and occupies the top floor of a Southern French condominium, as indeed in a few other places as well.

Benefits of Stress

An example of an Incapacity Benefit Claimant

Just read about the number of people claiming government incapacity benefit. It's a disgrace! What's the matter with these people? Anyone would think that there is something wrong with them!

Incapacity Benefits should be scrapped. Instead these people should be given a cash incentive of £1,000,000 to get off their fat backsides and earn and honest living. That will show the stinkers.

One is Grief Stricken

My Munitions Factory

One is sad to announce that this morning a person committed suicide by throwing himself on the electrified rails on the metro.

It is said that suicide is painless but that is not true. And the reason it isn't true is because that stinker cost me upward of £500,000 in lost production because he prevented workers from getting to my blasted munitions factory on time!

Traditional Capitalist Christmas

Money

Thought I should write to express my monstrous disgust at the way in which the message of Christmas has been twisted, manipulated and perverted over recent years. It's a disgrace!

I remember the time when it only had one clear and simple message but now that is not the case! Instead the message of Christmas is being diluted by vested interests trying to take advantage of everybody's good will. 

And we all know by who is doing this! Yes that's right... it's the Church!


Over the last few years The Church has been consistently encroaching upon the mass hysterical,self-indulgent, drunkenness, that facilitates