Apple iOS 5.1 Update Review

Recently got the latest Apple iOS update.

This was good news as the drinks cabinet has been running a trifle low on the old Bombay Sapphire fire-water if you know what I mean. Anyway, One was very excited to finally get the update.

Seeing as it is supposed to be the best one so far One immediately set about trying to download a Gin & Tonic from the Claridges web site.

Dalai Lama and Happiness

Got Any Change?

Just been listening to some Bhuddist chappie on the wireless called the Dalai Pyjama.

Apparently, the soul is immortal! which means that I will bump into the first wife again at a some point.

But anyway the main point of his discourse was related to universal truth, enlightenment, peace and tolerance.

One found this all very interesting but One couldn't help but think this fellow had missed the fundamental point about life. 

The Perfect Greek Coalition

In need of a Doctor Greece?

Been reading about those Greekies trying to put together a coalition! Well how are they going to do that? 

I mean they can't manage an economy so how are they supposed to manage a coalition. It's all a complete shower!

The last time any coalition from Greece did any good to anyone was the so called 'Greek Doctor' This coalition of four parties works very well indeed. This is how the Greek Doctor Coalition works;

• Two bottles of Ouzo
• Two bottles of Vodka
• Two bottles of Orange juice
• and one bottle of Lemon juice

Mix it all together and then bottoms up! It is worth noting here that One must only use ice with this concoction if there is enough room left in the glass.

Still got the old banter

Last wife and Least!

One recalls the words of the last wife as she stormed out of the house,

'You'll never find another woman like me!!' 

Whereupon she turned to walk out the door

To which One responded

'One bloody hopes not'

It's just great being me!

One is not a Racist!

Recently been accused of being a racist!

Balderdash! One believes in 'live and let live,' fairness all round, equal rights, minimum wage and all that crap. 

One is not a racist, not me Sir by Jimeny oh no! One doesn't discriminate against anyone. One discriminates against everyone!

Especially people who discriminate against other people! These people should be banned from bars, buses, drinking Gin & Tonics and fine wines. 

They should be hunted down and strung up!