Pepsi Challenge

Cola Challenge

Was skulking along the blasted high street in Chipping Norton this afternoon when I was accosted by a tall attractive woman asking me if I wanted to take the Pepsi Challenge.

Always up for a chance to win some money I took her up on the offer.

She presented me with two cans of chemically coloured sugary water (can't beat a bottle of the old Chablis you know) and told me to chose which one suited my taste.

Homeless Children

That's The Spirit. These Kids Are Halfway There Already

Was intercepted in the street this morning by an attractive young womean (sic) asking me if I wanted to help with homeless children.

'Certainly Not!' I retorted. 'There's quite enough of the little perishers about as it is without me contributing more.'

One had had enough of children sponging off of me years ago with that bleeder of a son of mine Cuthbert. He did nothing but scrounge off me for the first six years of his life before I packed the little shit off to Eton.

David Irving - Holocaust Denial

Irving: In Denial

Just been reading about that tricky chappie David Irving.

Irving is a proponent of a theory that the Holocaust never actually happened and that it was all a lie.

Poppycock! Of course it happened! Holcausts have been around for centruries. The Romans were the first lot who organised em when they invaded Britannia in 42 A.D. don cha know!

Their holocausts were rather primative affairs but in essence were the same as 20th Century ones that are known more widely as under-floor heating, designed to keep a house warm in winter time.

Most Roman Villas in Britannia had a holocaust and the evidence is still there today. I know because I saw it on 'Time Team' with that ghastly little actor Tony Robinson.

People like Irving should be ashamed of themselves trying to distort history. There's only one thing to do with people like that, lock em in a room and turn the gas on! That's the only sort of language that lot understand.

Locked In Syndrome. An Explanation

Man On Floor

Locked-in syndrome is a ghastly stae of affairs that  can stirke a chap down will-nilly and the ladies too!

It can leave one totally incapacitated and completely dependent on others to fucnction in an ordinary everdy day sense.

This is what happens. One makes ones way to the nearest pub, orders a drinkie, then downs it pronto. One then orders serveral more drinkies and before one knows it one passes out under the table.

The landlord calls time and then buggers off home oblivious to one still being under the table.

After a while one awakens blabbering incomprehensibly due to the alchohol, staggers over to the door, passes water on the floor, throws up, then falls back down again on ones arse. All this to the tune of 'Glory Glory Halleluhjah.' One eventually gets to the door to go home but the blithering landlord has locked it! And there you are, locked-in syndrome. That's it in a nutshell.

Personally one can't see what all the hullabaloo is over this condition. I mean the last time it happened to me I just made my way to the optics and helped myself to a bottle of Gin and a bottle of tonic. You know the rest!

Pablo Picasso 'Guernica'

Very Nice Picture But Where is the Local Pub?

Guernica was created in response to the bombing of the town of the same name in the Basque Country in northern Spain.

The bombing was undertaken by German and Italian warplanes at the behest of Spanish Nationalist forces, on 26 April 1937, during the Spanish Civil War.