Need of a Psychologist?

A Psychologist

One has recently become aware that one's neighbours have been avoiding me and that they, in all probability can't stand the sight of me! Very strange!

One first realised this a fortnight ago when, upon entering the local pub to use the toilets the clientèle immediately exited the establishment. This has actually been happening for the last fifteen years but one has only just put two and two together.

One has found this to be a trifle upsetting! To that end my wretched son Cuthbert Ware-Armitage suggested that I should employ the services of a psychologist to try to resolve this matter.

I don't usually trust these sorts as once they get into your head they can do all manner of things and charge you the earth for it. A bit like a mechanic or a dentist don cha know! 

Contacted a psychologist from Harley Street nonetheless, who after I had tripled the fee was prepared to do house calls so that it was all very convenient. Shouldn't really be mean with the dosho when it comes to one's health, in for a penny in for a pound and all that sort of thing

Anyway, scheduled a one hour session with the man for early Friday  afternoon to get things going so all was tickety-boo. Would you believe it but late Friday afternoon the psychologist arrives at my mansion and starts balling me out left right and centre!

He told me that he was very angry and demanded that I pay him the monies for the session! Can you believe that? Of all the temerity!  

"But we haven't had a session you damn fool!" I said. 

I mean why on Earth should I have had to cough up a single penny when I had quite clearly sent him to the neighbour's house to sort him out, not me! I was fine. I tried to explain this to the psychologist but he was having none of it and demanded I pay him! Nonsense! As far as I was concerned if the neighbour was the one who needed psychological help then he was going to pay for it and that that was a matter between them. Nothing to do with me at all!

By all accounts the neighbour was livid with the psychologist for just turning up but I still don't know how they knew it was me whom arranged it all. I distinctly refrained from giving my own details so as to avoid this sort of thing.

I mean if you can't keep your head with your own psychologist then there is very little anyone can do. That's the last time I try to take an interest in people around me. Miserable lot!