 |
| Bell the Butler |
I thought I'd almost lost it when Courtney passed away last year but odds bodkins the other day I solicited the services of a new man called Bell. (see photograph courtesy of Hanson Leatherby)
Anyway, Bell the butler has proved himself to be of great worth and knows his place. And he doesn't flinch at all, for example, last Sunday I thought I would test him out by getting Great Uncle 'Whoopsie' Ware-Armitage to telephone me. Then I would say 'Is that the phone bell' Ha hahah Geddit? Yes? No? and then 'Is that the door bell' Geddit? Ha ha I've still got the old wit don cha know. He didn't even bat an eyelid when I threatened to defenestrate him for leaving the window open.
He is also very loyal and kept schtum after an 'incident' on his second day in which both Lord Dolsworth and Sir Morrison of Shoeburyness accidentally emptied both barrels into him from quite close range at a hunting party. Butlers like this are rare to find and worth their weight in gold.
However he obviously needs breaking in as last Monday evening he asked me if I was ready for a glass of port. Well this was obviously the most stupid question I had ever heard in my life so I proceeded to thrash the living daylights out of him. And do you know what he was professional enough to keep apologising as he was lying on the floor sobbing.
This aside it was his birthday last week so as a measure of good faith I told him I'd divert his wages for November into a fund to buy him a present. He even said 'Thank you'
What a man!
No comments:
Post a Comment