E=mc²: An Explanation for the Layman.

E=g&t²

In reality life is very simple but due to modern educational theories people perceive their lives to be more and more complex. That's the trouble with socialism if you ask me; too many questions and not enough thrashings. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, this morning some bodkin approached me upon the high street and bet me five bob that I would be unable to explain Einstein's famous equation E=mc². Always up for a challenge I proceeded to the nearest bar to work this one out. So here it all is. 

Now to explain this one it is best to use ordinary every day objects you'd find in any bar or drinks cabinet thus enabling you to try this experiment yourself. So first thing is to find some 'M' mass. Any mass will do so I recommend a bottle of Gin. Preferably Hayman's Gin from the Hayman's Distillery.

The Next thing to do is to find something to represent 'C' or the speed of light. For this you will need to use something translucent so I recommend ice cubes, made from tonic water. At this point make sure you weigh these ice cubes.

Next thing is to multiply the weight of the tonic cubes by themselves. The resultant figure is simply how much more of these tonic gems you will need to make this experiment work.  

Take the tonic cubes and place them into the largest cocktail shaker you would find in any cocktail lounge, add the complete bottle of Hayman's, put the lid on and shake the lot together until everybody in the bar is visibly annoyed at you. 

Once that is done simply drink the lot, all in one go and then return to bed. In the morning, once you have awoken, you will find that the thumping great headache you have corresponds to Einstein's 'E' or Energy. 

So there you have it Energy (the size of your headache) equals mass (a bottle of Hayman's Gin) multiplied by the speed of light (iced tonic cubes) squared. 

All very simple in reality, you don't have to be Einstein to work this one out.