Actors: A Modern Menace

Jolie Good Show

I was watching a documentary the other day, in fact several documentaries at the cinema no less when it occured to me that not everything in these 'documentaries' were as they seemed.

I first had a suspicion that something was a little fishy when I saw a magnificent documentary many years ago in which a businessman had brought dinosaurs back to life on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean by extracting DNA from mosquitos that had been preserved in amber from tree sap etc. 

Well it's just occured to me what the blazes is going on! Some of these documentaries have actors in them portraying people in real life! That's deception! It's misleading! It's a disgrace! 

Far too many actors are distrubed individuals anyway, some of them are even disturbed,  constantly trying to be the centre of attention, talking about themselves, copulating with as many people as they can get away with, astealing from clothes shops because they feel as though THEY shouldn't have to go through the indignity of having to actually pay for things, urinating in telephone boxes, hitting people, posing in restaurants, snorting drugs, starting up strange religions, joining strange religions and generally showing orff in public. Have they no shame?! (actually this sounds like quite a good night out!) 

I mean just look at this one. This ones name is Brainjelly Jolie. This particular one is so desparate for money that she has resorted to donning a silly leather hat that makes her resemble a complete sha'ar! I mean how is a person supposed to take an individual such as this seriously? Can you imagine her doing something as simple as washing the dishes or breaking wind? No! 

Kitchen Shelf?

And here's another one! This one's name is Jack Hugeman and all he can do is stand around all day looking in a bad mood! I mean is that serious work? I can do that and a lot better too after a heavy night on the tiles. And he is just as desperate for cash as the other one! He can't even afford to buy a shirt Notice how he tries to divert our eyes from this satorial disgrace by inserting toothpicks in between his fingers. He must think we're all silly-billies not noticing this ploy.

Can you imagine him knocking a nail into a wall or putting up a shelf in the kitchen? No, you probably can't. Why? Because he's an arse that's why!

These people are a menace, spoiling our documentaries at the cinemas, posing in restaurants and nightclubs, copulating in public toilets and fouling our pavements! (err... I'm starting to feel a tad jealous...)