Terrorism in Paris

Errorists

There was error in Paris as extremists brought fear and panic to the streets. 'I awoke in the morning and it was just an ordinary day but by the time it had finished there was fear, panic and error everywhere.' said one Paris resident.

What had started as an ordinary day finished with thousands of journalists from all over the world, except the Islamic State spreading fear, panic, lies exaggeration and error.

By three o'clock in the afternoon journalists or Jourhadis as they call themselves, from across the globe were blocking roads and pavements, stopping innocent bystanders and holding microphones to their heads asking them leading questions and telling them that they were afraid.

'I was terrified,' said one woman, 'a car stopped just twenty metres ahead of me and two Jourhadis armed with a camera got out and started shooting footage.' One jourhadi approached a policeman who was tying his shoelaces together and started asking him intimidating questions. He didn't stand a chance. I ran the other direction in case they came for me.'

Other eyewitness reports stated that the jourhadis started firing leading questions into crowds of onlookers such as 'Just how worried are you?' and 'this is obviously going to lead to total catastrophe here in France?' They were reporting lies back to their respective audiences. Just lies, half-truths and error. I was mortified said one parisian.

Man Doing Some Work

What appears to have triggered this attack is the bringing in to question of the jourhadi's holy scripture entitled Charlie Hebdo. Under jourhadi practice it is forbidden to mock Charlie Hebdo as it can do anything under the guise of 'freedom of speech.' Yet on that same day its' 11 authors were murdered by a couple of pricks. Time and again jourhadis throughout Paris were heard chanting their mantra at innocent members of the public 'Freedom of speech is great!' and 'Long live Freedom of speech!" as they spread error all over the world.

In a separate incident police found themselves completely surrounded by jourhadis errorists as they tried to bring to an end a siege in a Paris supermarket. 'We were completely surrounded by jourhadis.' said one police officer. 'They were everywhere with cans of petrol ready to pour on any fire.' I was errified.

Tony Blair, an expert in global error, said 'these errorists are obsessive fanatics that study calligraphy from a very young age. But it's not the calligraphy of today, it is a calligraphy of the 13th century; ancient, backward, regressive that hardly anybody can understand. Nothing matters to them apart from their warped ideology of establishing a calligraphate on the newspapers shelves. They must be stopped he said looking forward to another war in which somebody else's family would have to participate.

The jourhadis are part of a global error network that has been spreading fear, panic and lies throughout the world's population far more effectively than any government or terrorist organisation since the internet was invented. 'Governments are completely helpless against these errorists,' said one of their victims Heather Mills. 'They follow you around all day, bug your telephone answering machine and watch you preparing for your next reality TV show all in the name of 'the public interest.'

Oh and 6000 people in Nigeria were also murdered in the same week but their journalistic credentials were not very good so the jourhadis aren't really interested in them because that doesn't sell newspapers and therefore make very little money.