Mitt Romney in Sex Scandal Sensation?

Only Fucks Wife

Just want to give my halfpenny worth regarding the Republican party candidate for the post of President of the United States of America, Mitt Romney.

Any rumours of a sex scandal with this man are completely false. This man is a family man with great children and a vast investment portfolio to support them.

His cheer and happiness are there to see for all the world. Why would he embark on an extra-marital affair?  One has never seen such a happy candidate running for this top job.

Global Warming & Wind Farms

What in Beelzebub’s balls is the world coming to?

Just look at this picture! Look at it. It’s a sign that mankind has finally flipped it’s lid.

It’s a photo of something called a wind farm. Apparently it is going to help stop global warming.

Now I may have an arse for a brain but you’re not going to cool down the planet with huge farms of fans blowing cold air everywhere are you?!

I mean how much electricity do these thing use in order to power them? It’s bloody lunacy!

No if you want to cool down the planet just get everyone to leave their fridge doors open over night. I wish people would ask me about these things you know.

Rupert Murdoch Hates the English

Look at the horns on his head!!

Right then! So Murdoch hates the English! He doesn't give a shit about us!

Sounds to me like the baby has thrown the dummy out of the pram. 

The man says he can make more money in the United States with his Fucks News Corporation.

OK.. goodbye then.

In the meantime he can take his blasted money, stick it up his arse, then some more up his son's arse, then up his wife's arse and then up Rebekah Brookes' arse, then I'd like to see them all give a shit after that!!!

Natural Disaster

Dreadful Heat

It's sweltering here! Can hardly keep my G&T cold long enough to drink the blasted thing.  Have to keep throwing it down my throat ASAP.

Of coursre very hot prolonged summers have resulted in 100's dying through high temperatures and thirst last year in Southern France and it looks as though this will be repeated this year too!

So here is what must be done to avoid a repetition of last year. 

• Equip lorries to carry tons of water to strategic locations.

• Set up a network of hose-pipes that thread their way between all the choice grape vines.
•  
• Reintroduce slavery so each grape-vine can be shaded from the extreme temperatures of the midday sun otherwise even more vines will die.

• Divert water from small towns and cities into choice wine producing regions.

If it wasn't for that fascio-trotskyite bureaucratic regime in the EU all this would have been dealt with last year!

My New Twitter Account

Is There a Doctor in the House?

One was advised to open to Twitter account by one of those marketing johnnies to promote One's blog.

Thought the bounder was trying to tell me I was a twit but he managed to explain what Twitter was all about during the thrashing I was metering out to him.

Anyway, the account was open ten minutes when the first follower appeared by the name of 'Bernadine Hallums from Miami. Then I saw her profile description!!

www.TIGHT%SS-F%CKEDHARD.INFO (full title censored)

Just what in God's name is this blasted internet for? I thought it was invented to permit loud-mouthed, bolshy, self-opinionated, narrow-minded bleeders like me to talk crap all day and get paid for it. And there's another thing, I've only raised 6 pence since I started doing this sort of thing. I'd make more prostituting the servants (if they weren't still on strike)


The whole thing is a complete shower!!


Anyway got to dash as Bernadine is on the line at the moment and I can't keep her waiting as the call seems ridiculouly expensive for some reason.