Piers mOrgan is a Wanker?

Not a Total Arse

Just writing to give moral support to Piers Morgan. It matters not one not that his monstrous betrayal of the British army in Iraq exacerbated the already tense situation there.

Nor that his complete lack of popularity in England forced him to scurry away to the United States of America.

No sir by Jimeny it does not. Despite being labelled many defamatory names I like him and I don’t think he is a tosser at all. No this is a good man.

Neither is he a wanker nor an arse-wipe. He has done so much to help the needy, just look as Susan Boyle.

The Servants Strike Back

Pagan Swine!

Good God look what those damn Servants have done! They think that because they are still on strike they can write this sort of verbiage on one's walls.

Well one is not going to stand for it! It's a disgrace! What is one going to do with these people?

Don't they know there is a hyphen between the 'Ware' and the 'Armitage'?

If the pagan swine are going to impugn my reputation they could at least get the grammar right.

Shit Creek with a Paddle

Looks a Right Tosser?!

Look at this photo! Just look at it!! This is the new sport of choice Paddle Surfing.

Hasn't this fool got anything better to do with his life?

It must be an example of the first sport where the equipment used actually goes slower than what it was originally designed for! It's like storing your fridge in the blasted oven!

I could have shat a better sport than this! In fact that is probably going to be the next 'new sport' Shit blasting. Everyone bends over and tries to crap further than everybody else.

In fact I've got an even better sport than that. Paddle-surfer shooting! Just shoot the bleeders partaking in paddle-surfing. Then I'd like to see how fast they can paddle after the first one gets it. Also I'd make em paddle in shark-infested waters.

Then they'd really wish they were up shit creek without a paddle.

Mitt Romney in Sex Scandal Sensation?

Only Fucks Wife

Just want to give my halfpenny worth regarding the Republican party candidate for the post of President of the United States of America, Mitt Romney.

Any rumours of a sex scandal with this man are completely false. This man is a family man with great children and a vast investment portfolio to support them.

His cheer and happiness are there to see for all the world. Why would he embark on an extra-marital affair?  One has never seen such a happy candidate running for this top job.

Global Warming & Wind Farms

What in Beelzebub’s balls is the world coming to?

Just look at this picture! Look at it. It’s a sign that mankind has finally flipped it’s lid.

It’s a photo of something called a wind farm. Apparently it is going to help stop global warming.

Now I may have an arse for a brain but you’re not going to cool down the planet with huge farms of fans blowing cold air everywhere are you?!

I mean how much electricity do these thing use in order to power them? It’s bloody lunacy!

No if you want to cool down the planet just get everyone to leave their fridge doors open over night. I wish people would ask me about these things you know.