So Sweet.... and Sour

Well strike me down with Jove’s jockstrap! You’ll never guess what I saw today?

Was walking along the high street in Norbiton when I saw the strangest thing. It was an oriental person walking a dog!

Just goes to show how the world is changing don cha know. In the olden days You’d never see an oriental person walking a dog no Sir by Jimeny you would not!

You’d see em eating the damn things! You’d never see them walking Fido or Spot in the street unless they had just kidnapped them and were on their way to get their throats slit that is.

I remember the joke that whenever an Oriental restaurant opened up nearby there would be a spate of local people's pets going missing. Well this is just no true! The pets never went missing! No Sir! They would end up in the char su-pow, that’s not missing.

But I will tell you what is missing right now and that is a large Gin and Tonic.

Family Planning Web Sites

By George there are some peculiar webular sites on the internet don cha know!

Recently one has noticed a proliferation of webular sites regarding family planning. For example, one of the ones I visited last night showed footage of a couple trying to start a family. Indeed many of these family planning webular sites show couples and even sometimes entire groups of couples trying to start families.

Courtney: An Obituary

Rest In Peace Courtney Loyal Servant

One is sad to announce that my butler, valet, personal assistant and chauffeur Courtney passed away recently.

One is saddened beyond description as the stinker owed me seven guineas from the gee-gees. That horse was a dead-cert even though it was 200/1. It's just that the other horses fell ill, one couldn't get out of the starting gate two of the others threw their riders leaving only my horse and 'Arse-biscuit' to finish the race.

It wasn't his job to evaluate whether the horse would win or not. All he had to do was to do as he was bloody well told. I didn't pay him to think!  Instead he put the money on that blasted nag 'Twenty Hotels' on 10/2. It was the bloody favourite wasn't it! naturally I'd fixed it so the blasted animal would fall at the first fence.

Lost that lolly because of him and he always refused to pay it back! What a ghastly little man he was. But you just can't get the staff any more these days and now I have to foot the bill for his funeral too!

Justin Beleiber, Believer, Beiber Bieber Whateber!

Silly Little Boy

What in God’s name is a Belieber? It sounds like someone who doesn't drink enough alcohol! Maybe that's an imbiber?

We'll anyway it is supposed to be something to do with a dreadful little child called Justin Beiber or is that Beleeiber, Biebier, belieber... whateiber. This little blighter is only about eight years old yet lots of adults like him, sounds like pedophile fodder if you ask me.

Drug Addict Photos: Before and After!!

Heroin Addict Before.............. After

Just been reading about heroin and the effect it has on those whom consume it.

Apparently the fools that take this stuff are off their bloody rockers! Don't have a clue what is going on and are not able to care either. Kind of envy them in a way!

Anyway they become so deluded that they rapidly decline in terms of mental health and become so addicted that everything in their lives revolves around the acquisition of money to buy heroin, Kind of envy them in a way.

Addict: Sulkin Before....... After

The result is that these people lose their jobs, homes, friends and acquaintances. After that they turn to criminal activity such as mugging people and fraud.

Frequently they end up in gaol at the tax payers expense! So we are still giving them handouts!! Don't know about you but I bloody well had to work other people to the bone to get where I am today so it is pretty galling when I see this lot being spoiled by being thrown in goal or rehabilitation centres when they could easily be placed on a pile of manure. When will it all end? 

Addict: Winehouse Before..... After

But the worst thing about it is that simply increases the number of ugly people patrolling the streets! Who do they think they are? One has attached a few photos to look at to compare these people how they were before taking drugs and what they were like after. Its a disgrace!

It is clear that what these people need is help, care and assistance for their condition. I recommend more make-up. Failing that they could just simply put a bag on their head? And preferably a plastic one at that.