Boston Terrierist Attack: Conspiracy Theory

Boston Terrierst Attack

Been reading about the Boston Terrier Attack during the Marathon there on Sunday. Ghastly state of affairs don cha know.

Three people lost their lives in the attack and many more were injured, it's dreadful!

Great Auntie Fitzgibbon-Armitage used to have several Boston Terriers and they were quite friendly little bleeders one can tell you. So what possessed a group of them to go on the rampage during the Boston Marathon is beyond me?

Whilst Boston Terriers are clever little bastards one didn't think that they were capable of engineering a bomb! Obviously we have completely underestimated them. 

One did some research late last night after returning home from the pub (three bottles of an excellent Chablis.) From what I understand they have an entire global network organised and run by a certain Terrierist called Jack Russell and his gang called the Yorkshire Terrierists or something like that and it is the American Stafforshire Terrierist branch that is obviously responsible for Sunday's outrage.

International Terrierism is responsible for many an ill of the modern world and it is these Terrierists that have alot to answer for! But you just can't tell a good Terrier from a bad! So you never know if there is a Bad Terrierist in your midst! The answer? Well it's easy, round them all up and put them on an island in the Atlantic Ocean, preferably Labrador.

Prof. Robert Edwards: An Obituary

Father Again for the Umpteenth Time

Just been reading about Professor Robert Edwards who died at the age of 87. This was the man who help literally hundreds of thousands of women get pregnant.

The dirty bleeder!! Didn't think it was possible for someone like him to do it at all let alone with hundreds of thousands of women. He must have been at it all day for the last thirty years! The man is an animal!

He shoud be ashamed of himself! The man is a beast! And what exactly is it that women see in him? I mean he was 87 and looked like a prune! I knew I should have been a doctor! Women love that sort of thing in a man. It's shameful!

How did he get away with it? And there is the blasted cost! All those children must have cost a fortune! Where did he get the money from? Let alone the energy. One can barely manage it once a week let alone do it with hundreds of thousands of women. He must scarely had the chance to go home. No wonder he's got such a massive grin on his face. It's just not fair!

Margaret Thatcher: An Obituary

Margaret Thatcher in her role as Meryl Streep

Just heard about the death of Lady Margaret Thatcher

This incredible woman was a controversial character that was both divisive and yet decisive. Her life was a series of struggles with the established order and with the men and institutions of her time.

The hightlight of her career came when she won the Oscar for Best Actress in the film The Iron Lady where she portrayed Meryl Streep who had won three general elections for her portrayal of a Leader of the Conservative Party.

The Coriolis Effect

No Coriolis Effect with Trixabel.

Was looking down the plughole yesterday eve when I noticed that as the water drained away it all went in a clockwise direction down the hole!

One has noticed this kind of thing before, notably on occasion, as one was thrashing one of the servants. As the swine was lying in the gutter. He passed water in his trousers and as he did so much it all flowed into the drain in a clockwise rotation.

After doing some research one has learned that the water always spins away in a clockwise direction on the top of planet earth whilst on the bottom of planet earth it always spins in an anti-clockwise direction and that this is an absolute!

Codswallop! It’s not an absolute at all! That’s what I say and I say ‘Tish and Nonsense.’ This is clearly nonsense. Doesn’t matter where one is on Earth water and urine can spin any direction it damn well likes and here is how I know...

 I was at the Gogo-Pogo Night club last night and there was Trixabel doing her routine with her tassels. And I tell you something. There was no external force influencing those swingers and lawks-a-lordythey were spinning it two directions at the same time! If there was a Coliolis Effect there then I can tell you it wasn’t doing very much!

If anyone out there doubts this then pop along to the Gogo-Pogo. For a small fee Trixy will give you a demonstration of the lack of a Coriolis Effect.

3D without Glasses!!

Lady MacBeth

Was dragged out last night by Dame Brunhilda Babcock-Heatherstonehaugh last night. Don't mind her but she likes things like culture and education. The only culture one prefers is that which one finds in a distillery if you know what I mean?

Anyway turns out that it was a fun-a-plenty evening in the end as we went to a theatre to watch a film called MacBeth. This was at Drury Lane some place that one finds simply ghastly.

Anyway to my surprise the entire show was in 3D. Not only that but technology as moved on so rapidly that one didn't need to wear 3D glasses. One could simply watch the whole performance unaided.

And the actors just stood out from the background all the way through! Incredible! There was one part where the actor appeared to forget his lines and I was a trifle surprised that they hadn't edited it out before showing one supposes that one can't have everything. Still the entire thing was amazing it looked as if the actors were actually standing on a stage performing their lines. And the amazing thing that happened was some fellow in the audience let his blasted mobile telephone go off during the show and one of the actors in the film appeared to look at this rapscallion and tell him to bugger off! How do they do it?

The only odd thing about it was that as the evening drew on the show started to become out of focus. One noticed this earlier on but after a swig of the old fire-water the focus came back. But after a while no quantity of liquid engineering was able to bring the show back in to focus at all, despite it all still being in 3D.

Eventually the entire theatre shut down the lights as one suspects that the 3D effect had drained the theatre of all its power. Very sad