Saturday, 25 July 2015

I Did it My Way

Frank Sinatra
You know I've been ruminating recently about how amazing I am and how incredible my life is. I started with nothing don cha know and have made to where I am today with a bit of luck, some very good investing, hard work, skill and judgement.

If I can do it then anybody can! People need to get up orff their arses and just go for it. There is nothing stopping anyone these days and there is no point whining about it. Nobody just becomes successful by sitting on their huge, horrible, hairy, malodorous backside and expecting everything to just fall in to their lap! No Sir by Jimeny it simply doesn't work that way!

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Toilet Paper Puzzler

Intellect
Take a look at this photo, I think anyone with a modicum of intellect will know what is going on here. 

Yes that's right are you an 'A' or a 'B'? Many people become very worked up over this matter so I thought it would be an excellent thing to clear it all up once and for all before rational human beings start killing each other.

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Single or Double Vented Blazer? The Options

Downward Blast 
Right then so vents on blazers! That's right vents on blazers, is it a hullabaloo or something important? Well obviously it's important else I wouldn't be writing about it. The question is why is it important? Should a person don a double, single or no vented blazer? There's just so much to choose from. Ultimately it all comes down to personal choice as there are pros and cons for each variant. Well with this quick handy blog post I hope to answer those questions and may be a few more. First up the no-vent.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

How to Cancel a Romantic Date

Stabbings
Going on a date is always very exiting, you just never know how much money will turn out to be in the other person's bank account. If you're really lucky you may actually like them too. However, occasionally it may be necessary to cancel the date at the last minute and that is never a good thing leading to resentment, bitterness, reprisals, vendettas and all too frequently, stabbings. 

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

UK Party Leaders: Their Last Drink?

Member of the Electorate
Right then! So over the course of the last five weeks me and my 'squad' have endeavoured to establish just what the five UK party leaders' last drink would be if they had to face a firing squad first thing in the morning.

Now, I didn't enjoy doing this very much but I felt that there was a need to actually get right to the bottom of things about what makes em really tick. Because they are all politicos a simple direct question such as 'What makes you tick?' would be simply batted away under a load of old waffle! 

So, me and the 'squad' diligently set about kidnapping each and every one of em, putting em against a wall and going through the motions of a mock execution and recording what they all wanted to sup before a few final words and all that sort of thing. Once they'd had their drink and said all their gubbins we let em go and escorted them back to their hotels or wherever they had been without any harm coming to em at all.