Aliens land in Dover

Galacto-Communist  Aliens!

What the blazes is going on!?? Just heard that Aliens have landed in Dover and that they are going to kill everyone and then destroy planet Earth!

I mean this is all very well but it is actually avoiding the main issue, which is are they Communists?! I bet they are and I bet they've been working with the EU too! This is just the sort of stunt they'd try and pull! Well it won't work!

The last thing planet Earth needs right now is to be blown to smithereens by Communists! It's not important if they are blasted cripity-crapity extra-terrestrial Communists or ones from Soviet Russia, they're all the same if you ask me; yes they simply adore spending OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY!

If you think for one second that I am prepared to stand by and be laser-beamed by a load of Galacto-Communist Aliens then by Jimeny you've got another thing coming. No Sir! If I'm going down at all it'll be by Capitalist ones, at least they'll keep all my money for themselves and not hand it out to the poor willy-nilly. 

These things are important don cha know!