S.P.W.A. & Lord Lucan: Conspiracy Theory

I Was Somewhere Else

Just writing about my good friend that man John Bingham 7th Earl of Lucan or Lord Lucan as he is more popularly known in the lying press.

Lord Lucan or 'Bingy-Boo' as we called him disappeared in November 1974 after the press told everybody he had only he had murdered a servant (allegedly.)

I just want to say here that I was not the one that was with him in that Ford Corsair that drove down to Newhaven. Not that anybody saw two people in a car of that description of course but um... if there were two people in a car of that description then I was not the one in the back seat. 


Not that there was anybody seen in the back seat or any back seat for that matter but if there is anybody out there who happened to see anybody in a back seat of a Ford Corsair heading towards Newhaven on the evening of the 8th November 1974 then I wasn't in the back seat.... Nor in the front passenger seat.... Nor indeed the driving seat. No that was somebody else.

No I was at home donating money to a charity as Bingy-Boo Lord Lucan was bludgeoning the servant (Allegedly) and I was also at home singing Christmas Carols when he attempted to throttle his wife to death. (Allegedly)

And if anybody doubts my word as a gentleman then I will have them know that I have witnesses; Leon 'Fingers' Walchevski was with me playing bridge at my home along with 'Satellite' Dave Perotti, Alec 'The Horse' Bomparini and Lenny 'The Trouser' Stevenson. All have whom passed away within a couple of weeks of that dreadful (Alleged) episode.

So all is well and good here then and nobody is in any doubt about where I was when Bingy-Boo Lord Lucan murdered his servant. (Allegedly) Because killing servants is a crime in the 21st Century and is no longer tolerated by the police. So that was why I was on holiday in Greece at that time having a nice drinkies with a good friend called err... Ford Fucan whom I would happily help out of any sticky situation, even if they had murdered someone. (Allegedly)