Apple iPad Air: Review

Throw an Apple Today

Right then! Those jonnies at Apple Inc have done the right thing and given me one of their things called an iPad Air to review. You may recall that I reviewed one of their earlier models a while back. 

Well as I said this new one is called the iPad Air. Bit of a silly name if you ask me however, we all find air in tonic water and we find tonic water in Gin so I think I can see where they are going with this and their next models but I digress. 

The iPad Air is lighter and slimmer than the previous one which means it is easier to transport around and not such a strain on one's  hand and wrist. This has both pros and cons for me and my relationship with my servants if ever they come off that blasted strike.



The pros are that I stand a better chance of hitting servants from a greater distance than what I did with the older iPad model. Also I stand a better chance of hitting them if they are moving at speed, for example, being chased by hounds across the estate for a misdemeanour, all well and good so far say I.

However, for the fatter servants, that are nearby and can't run so fast anyway, it means not so much damage is inflicted when they are struck. This is bad news as this equates to less pain and less pain equates to less learning. Less learning equates to higher disobedience. And we all know what higher disobedience led to! That's right the collapse of the Empire.

I am disappointed that Apple didn't take heed to my previous suggestion, when I reviewed one of their older operating systems. In this review I pointed out that it was seemingly impossible to download a Gin & Tonic from the Claridges' web site. To that end they appear to have done absolutely nothing. Clearly these people need to buck up their ideas I tell you. 

For the next model I do have one suggestion for those clever bodkins. Because the weight has decreased, thus incurring less physical damage on a person of a lower orders so I suggest making an all round razor sharpe edge in the vain of a Claymore. The damage inflicted would be less bruising by virtue of it having a more of a 'Slashing' effect.

But on the whole a damn fine peace of weaponry that any huntsman would be reasonably proud of, otherwise I can see that this things serves no other useful purpose.