NHS Winter Meltdown

Freezing Cold Journos (Please don't laugh aloud)

NHS (National Health Service) waiting times have shot up during the winter period here in the UK as a direct consequence of financial cuts. "We're just completely unable to cope "said one nurse at an unnamed Accident and Emergency unit in Stafford, "it's fucking shit," she added. Regrettably this just seems to be the tip of the iceberg. 

How to Prevent Hatred on Twitter and Facebook

Trouble-Making

Right then! There appears to be a lot of hatred and negativity on the internet these days about anything that is possible to be hateful against. Typically it always seems to be focussed on people of different religious beliefs, cultures and nationalities. This hatred is usually characterised by the differences between people rather than what we have in common. It's a disgrace!

Socialist Potholes

Typical Socialist Pothole

Just been reading about potholes! Yes that's right pot holes. Apparently the UK government has allocated £168 million of MY MONEY to 148 local councils (over 60% of which are socialist) across the country to fix the blasted things. It's a disgrace!

But what is a pothole anyway? Well it's a large hole in a road that forms when predominantly socialist councils behave like absolute sha'ars and neglect to do things properly. Typically surface water undermines the road surface substrata weakening it's structural integrity, (this is, incidentally the same principle that socialists use to take over councils, metropolitan areas and nations. 

Tip-Top Counter-Terrorism Plan

Sainsbury's

Right so I was eating breakfast in bed this morning, smoked kippers and champagne as a matter of fact when I had this tip-top wonderful idea to prevent those sexually frustrated terrorists attacking and destroying public buildings and famous monuments, like the attacks in New York on the World Trade Centre way back in 2001. In fact my idea was so splendid that I fancy it can be applied to any major city throughout the civilized world facing this sort of threat. It's also fast, cheap and easy to implement. This one's going to be a winner I can tell you!

Right then, down to business, first thing to do is to locate your city that is under threat say for example London. Once you've done that you will need to evacuate the place. This must be done pretty sharpish as if these terrorist twits get wind of your plan they may be inclined to make a pre-emptive move thus rendering your plan very silly and you don't want that happening. I fancy the evacuation should take no more than four hours, anyone left in the city after that is probably on drugs anyway so who's going to notice if they have left or not?