World Book Day

Right then! Today is World Book Day which I think is absolutely marvellous don cha know!

World Book Day started in Spain in 1923 by a load of booksellers who wanted to mark the anniversary of the death of Migueal di Cervantes on the 23rd April, who was shot in the head from a book suppository by a man called Lee Herve Osvaldo.

Actually at that time it wasn't called World Book Day as it was only commemorated by people in Spain so I suspect they called it something like Spanish Book Day you get the general idea.

In Britain the day is celebrated on the 5th March as the 23rd April happens during school holidays and no teacher in their right mind is going to celebrate it when they could be in the pub. Personally I think it was moved to this day in Britain for reasons of pig-headedness but I can't prove that.

Anyway, so I thought I would do my bit to mark this super day by giving my very own book review. I've done numerous arts review, some of you may recall my review of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Right so here is the review. Books yes I love em! They come in all shapes, sizes and weights. Some of them are paperback and some are hard core. If you get enough of them you can balance them on top of each other and stand on them making them very effective if you need to take a gander at what is going on in the next door neighbour's estate.

Also, you can lob some of the heavier ones at your servants (or may be today it could be 'Cervantes... geddit? servants/Cervantes) as a way of altering behaviour patterns. Heavier books can also be used as excellent door stops and for flattening dough when making a pizza.

Lighter books aren't very good for lobbing at people. For a start their inertia is low so they tend to just bounce orff their target. Also the target is free to simple turn and catch the book as it is just about to impact upon their personage. While it's possible to have someone's eye with a light book the chances of a successful score on this tiny target are minuscule so best stick to the hardback variety.

Lighter books are, however, very good for feeding to the hounds and stuffing down people's throats if they start to get tiresome. I find stuffing a light book down the throat of a conspiracy theorist very satisfying and also very easy as the mouth of your average conspiracy theorist is usually open with a low, dull, droning sound being emitted from somewhere deep within.

Finally books also make very handy briquettes for starting fires. Chuck a few of those on a burner and before you know it the whole of your neighbour's home will have gone up in smoke. Judging from father's history books, which I finally finished burning last Wednesday, the books of choice for burning in the past tend to be left wing books. People in history couldn't get enough of em!