One Direction ...

Pan

Just been reading about a band called One Direction. They are all about eight years old and dressed as if they were Nancy Sinatra. This isn't a band at all this is paedophile fodder!

I've spoken about this sort of thing before with as equally a dreadful little boy called Justin Briber, it's disgusting!

Youngters like this shouldn't be poncing around on a stage exposing themselves to gangs of paedophiles they should be in school learning to use the slide-rule or studying trigonometry,

Horse Racing Tips

Gastro-Urinary Complaint

One dabbles on the GG's every now and again so I thought it only right to start giving tips to those who want to partake in the horses too. 

So here are my tips for this week including the meeting, time, horse and odds and owner.

Carlisle:

12:40 'Gastro-Urinary Complaint'.......33/1

13:10 'Three Mile Island'....................44/1

13:45 'Bloating Haemorrhoid'................2:1

S.P.W.A. Blog: Top 10 Reviews of 2013

Year In Review

Dear readers,

over the last year my ghost writers have been busily writing my blog to tell everyone what everything in the world is really all about and to put things right here and there. 

Over the course of 2013 I received many requests from people begging me to stop this blog and to go and hang myself. I have ignored these requests as I can only assume that the grammar was not up to scratch so on occasion a ghost writer has done the decent thing and finished himself off.

Australian Predators: Nation of Innovators

Two Victims swim for their lives

One has just been reading about those clever chappies in Australia who have come up with a tip-top idea to prevent attacks by great white marine predators.

The innovative fellows there have gone round and tagged 250 of the more massive of these horrifying creatures with an electrical device that can transmit the position of these hideous man-eaters to a monitoring centre. 

Global Warming...? Global Farting!

Vanessa Feltz

Just been reading up on a theory about dinosaurs and global warming. Apparently the blighters gassed themselves all to death by billowing out billions of tons of methane.

The scientists based their theory on the methane producing capacity your common or garden cow.