Apple iOS 7, Update: Review

iOS 7 Update: Review

Just had the Apple iOS 7 update downloaded onto my telephone.

This is the new operating system that the boffins at the Apple corporation have been touting as a revolutionary change from the past. They have been publicising this for months now and have finally released it.

And quite frankly one doesn't have clue what they have been blithering on about in that time. I mean there is nothing there that hasn't already been done and nothing there that one couldn't have put together oneself with some paper, glue and some coloured pencils! It's a disgrace!!! Who do they think they are? I mean here are some of the features that I am talking about. 

Apparently you have some nicer widgets, well I have got news for you I can get a widget in a tinny of Guinness from the Off Licence thank-you-very-much. Also the photos have filters with them now but I have seen better more effective filters on a cigarette!! Ludicrous!

Also at the 'home' screen one can see a wobbly 3D effect that appears to give depth to everything. Well I have got news for you all I get a wobbly 3D effect every time I get home after downing a bottle of Cotes du Rhone, Reserve Chartreuse de Bonpas, Louis Bernard 1992.

Also this iOS 7 update tells the time...... Buy a blasted watch! and if you get disorientated it can tell you where north is. Buy a compass! Furthermore, if you get lost it has a map... ASK SOMEONE FOR DIRECTIONS! 

Just what all the hoo-hah is I don't know? And then there are some other things that it claims are revolutionary that people say you can use it for! Well I don't agree!

It makes an astonishing claim that it can make birds very angry... Just what in the devil's arse is that all about? I make birds angry every Sunday by firing leaded shot at their nests.

One has also tried it out by throwing it at Gypsies and the like for trespassing on one's property! Whilst being moderately effective you can beat a good old solid clay brick don cha know!

 
Finally one used it to wipe one's arse with but it was an absolute shower! I'm sticking with my scented lavatory paper if you don't mind from now on thank-you-very-much. This iOS 7 update and its applications or 'Apps' are nothing but a pile of tish.

These aren't apps! They're 'CRapps' and the company should seriously consider renaming itself from Apple to something more appropriate like 'CRapple'