Latest Eurozone Forecast Results

 Growth Forecast 

Results just released this morning show disappointing results from both France and Germany over the third quarter. Both countries have been affected by the economic slow down that has brought havoc across the Eurozone. 

In total Germany has seen only a 0.1% rise in news stories worthy of talking about which, in practical terms means a total of 10,352 news stories across the media in the third quarter. Meanwhile in France news stories have done better than expected at 0.3% for the same period equating to nearly 17,645 different news stories.


These results are a consequence of the years of economic stagnation in the Eurozone leading to not much actually happening. Nevertheless journalists are positive that with a slow but steady economic recovery there will be an increasing number of things to talk about as the global recovery takes place.

Actual Story

Britain, the first EU country to be hit by the economic crisis, news stories have remained well below pre-recession figures as a result of journalists worrying about their arses over the hacking enquiry. In total, over the third quarter British news providers have seen the total of individual news stories sore to a record breaking six. 

The six stories reflect the British peoples' concerns over Islam, Football, Paedophiles, The Scottish Referendum, Princess Diana and Nigel Farage an Right-Wing spokesman said. The spokesman added;

'The current increase of news stories is merely a reflection of our economic times. Less economic activity results in a greater focus on individual stories. This is to be expected.'

However the Media Standards Trust has issued its own statement in response to the NUJ claiming

"These six stories have been the mainstay of the British press for over ten bloody years. If journalists stopped blackmailing, hacking, bribing, destroying evidence, lying, sleeping with each other, stirring up hatred, trying to frame innocent people and talking about themselves then they would have more time to investigate actual stories."

Italy's results will be released later today.