Which UK Political Leader is the Best in a Punch Up?

Cleggers

Right then, as part of my UK political leaders portfolio I have cut right through the waffle and have sought to come up with the questions that really matter. Between now and election day I'm going to address the important issues that really matter. You may remember that a few days ago I studied Cammers' wind breakage abilities. Today's question is 

Which Political leader would you want on your side in a punch up? 

First up Cleggers, yes Cleggers! Cleggers is in the centre ground so has an unfortunate propensity to understand other people's feelings and emotions. Well that's hardly going to be any good in a pub brawl now is it? Speaking five languages holds an excellent advantage over adversaries in a Euro-brawl as he will be able to tune in to their communications and pre-empt any out-flanking moves shouted across a pub or bar. Ultimately his use would be good as intelligence gathering but in a straight jab to the face his value is pretty low. I'd give him 5 out of 10 on the Prescott scale.

Decoy

Next up Millers (Miliband)Yes Millers is an odd chap and to what is now the right of centre. His party used to be to the left of centre but is a sort of Right lite nowadays. Anyway that's enough of the politics what about a good old fashion punch up? Well this isn't good I'm afraid! Because of the never ending fatuous grin on Millers' stupid face he immediately would attract potential adversaries right to him. He wouldn't stand a chance. In that respect he would make an excellent decoy in a bar if for example it were necessary to lunge at the barman and there were lots of people in the way; simple position Millers at the opposite side of the room to the aforementioned barman and he would suddenly find himself completely exposed without protection. Alas I fear that Millers would be able to take no more that a light waft from a feather to knock him down. On the Prescott scale I'd give him 1 out of 10, very sad...

10 out of 10

Next Up Natters, yes Natalie Bennett of the Green Party. Yes this is the one to watch! Although a woman and of a diminutive figure Natters is not to trifled with at all! Born in New Zealand she has been virtually at war from birth due to the Waitangi Treaty of lies and deceit. People have underestimated her right from the start and don't be fooled by that brain seizure at the start of her election campaign! No sir! That was a deliberate tactic to put everyone off guard! In a pub brawl she would be the one that not only starts it but would be the one to finish it too! On the Prescott scale I'd give her 10 out of 10, good work Natters!

Mexican Army

Next Farrars, yes Farrars (Nigel Farage) Probably to the right of British politics although nobody seems to care because he is always down the pub Farrars can be useful in a rumble. Yes get him to face off against a load of immigrants he'd be the first in there I can tell you! There'd be nothing to stop him! A bit like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid facing off against the entire Mexican army Farrars would be straight in there taking as many of em with him as he could muster. HOWEVER.... put him a situation with a lot of British people? Hmmm... tricky I can't help but think he'd calm the situation down by buying everyone drinkies and telling a few comedy anecdotes. Whilst this is all very well there would be no actual punch up! 50/50 for Farrars. On the Prescott Scale I'd give him 7 out of 10.

Thrashing

Finally Cammers, yes Cammers.... hmmm.... The UK pretty-boy of politics superficially doesn't seem to be able to hold it when it comes to a smack-down but may be that is a rash judgement. Two things, the first is his old mate William Hague who is a black-belt; must have taught Cammers a thing or two about it during their time together in office and the second thing is his time in the Bullingdon Club drinking his head off and passing water on to the poor. He must have taken a few hits there and then in order to survive that lot for three years. The question is can he remember it all? I can't help but think whilst he would be useless whilst sober but get a few pints down his neck and his body would go in to automatic thrashing his way through a rowdy mob with gusto and relish! On the Prescott Scale I'd give him the same as Farrars 7 out of 10.

Prescott Scale

Conclusion
Natters is the one for me! 10 out of 10 on the Prescott Scale that says it all make no doubt about it! This woman is the bomb followed by Farrars and Cammers in second and third place. Marvellous.