Solution to one of Middle East Matters

250 yards south of Ashford Bypass

Right then, there's an ongoing conflict in The Levant don cha know between Israelites and Palestinians  that doesn't appear to have any light at the end of its tunnel. Apparently this conflict has been going on for the last twenty billion years and with the exception of the bloodthirsty media, people want it brought to an end. 

Kafka: A Critique

Pointless Pointlessism...

Right then! I was given a book a while ago, for which I was very grateful for as it gave me something to put my tea on to stop the table getting a circular stain. Very useful don cha know. 

Nevertheless, for some reason this book had managed to work its way in to my head since it was given to me and I thought I would give it a whirl and stop using it as a tea/matt. The trouble then was what to do with it. I mean you can't have books lying around whilst the table tops are unprotected so I bought some proper coasters for the table.

Organic Food

Right then, there seems to be a terrible hullabaloo these days about organic foods. Apparently a lot of
modern foodstuffs are industrially produced over-salted, over-sweetened petrochemicals that, whilst taste quite delicious, are in fact no more nutritious than a cold shower

This all means that what we eat is slowly killing large percentages of the population which is generally frown upon. Also manufacturers of these 'foods' are getting away with it, disgraceful, and also making a lot of money in the process, umm..

Actors: A Modern Menace

Jolie Good Show

I was watching a documentary the other day, in fact several documentaries at the cinema no less when it occured to me that not everything in these 'documentaries' were as they seemed.

I first had a suspicion that something was a little fishy when I saw a magnificent documentary many years ago in which a businessman had brought dinosaurs back to life on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean by extracting DNA from mosquitos that had been preserved in amber from tree sap etc. 

Well it's just occured to me what the blazes is going on! Some of these documentaries have actors in them portraying people in real life! That's deception! It's misleading! It's a disgrace! 

Far too many actors are distrubed individuals anyway, some of them are even disturbed,  constantly trying to be the centre of attention, talking about themselves, copulating with as many people as they can get away with, astealing from clothes shops because they feel as though THEY shouldn't have to go through the indignity of having to actually pay for things, urinating in telephone boxes, hitting people, posing in restaurants, snorting drugs, starting up strange religions, joining strange religions and generally showing orff in public. Have they no shame?! (actually this sounds like quite a good night out!) 

Bum Implants

Stands In Front of Walls

By Berlusconi's balls what is the world coming to? Just look at this photograph? This person has had surgical thingybobs implanted into her buttocks to try to enhances her attractiveness. 

I'm sorry but who is she trying to attract with an enhanced arse? There are only two things that I know of that shows any interest in an arse. The first are the hounds, while the second is the minstrel Elton John so what's the point?

One supposes that may be in winter time the lavatory seat gets a trifle chilly so the buttock implants would cushion the more tender parts from the cold, in which case that isn't a bad idea especially if one could attach a battery to each implant and warm it up a tad.