Return the Elgin Marbles Say I!

George Clooney

Just been reading about Camal Clooney, wife of multi-millionaireHollywood actor George Clooney, sticking her oar in about the subject of the Elgin Marbles. Well what has it got to do with her I ask you? She gets married to a Hollywood superstar, who is jealous of my looks and then launches this campaign to try and freeze me out of the limelight. It's a disgrace!

Err... anyway for those who are not well versed in this matter the Elgin Marbles are a collection of Classical Greek marble sculptures, inscriptions and architectural pieces, hand crafted by Davros Phidias and his assistants a million years ago that were originally part of the temple of the Parthenon and other buildings of the Acrapalot.

Terrorism in Paris

Errorists

There was error in Paris as extremists brought fear and panic to the streets. 'I awoke in the morning and it was just an ordinary day but by the time it had finished there was fear, panic and error everywhere.' said one Paris resident.

What had started as an ordinary day finished with thousands of journalists from all over the world, except the Islamic State spreading fear, panic, lies exaggeration and error.

How to Prevent ILLEGAL Immigration.

Plague

Right then! One is fed up with the subject of illegal immigration! It's all been blown out of proportion and hardly anybody knows what to do about it and any time someone proffers a solution then some arse comes up with a counter-argument resulting in nothing happening! It's a disgrace!

Cross Dresser Closet Conundrum.

Right then, it's only the sixth day of the new year and already I'm having problems at Ware-Armitage Munitions Inc.

You may recall Ware-Armitage Munitions Inc is a defence industry manufacturer for all domestic and external needs that need defending against things attacking your defences.

Well that's enough of that. So here on the sixth day of the new year one stinker of an employee had tried to go and shaft everything at my expense. I reckon it was deliberate myself but due to me being very clever I outsmarted the bleeder him.

Ladies: How to Tell if Your Man Truly Loves You.

Gasometer and George

Right then, ladies. How can you tell if your man is truly in love with you? This is an age-old question, one that has been mystifying women since the time of Adam. Indeed it has been mystifying menfolk too but only since the day they marry.