Stephen Hawking: Arse in Space

Drunkard

One has just been reading about that boffin called Stephen Hawking who has been talking about assisted suicide. 

The man thinks that it is OK to help ill people end their lives if they are going to kick the bucket with no prospect of recovery.

Proud to be British

Pride in Britain

Oh the blasted Press are at it again. Not content with having absolutely bugger all to write about since getting a lashing from Lord Leveson's Public Enquiry they are doing their usual fall back position and bringing up the war again under the mistaken belief that we won it!

Well let me tell you something, we didn't win that war! We damn well got thrashed! Everybody thinks we won it but, by Jove's jockstrap we had our sorry arses hauled from one end the world to the other.
The cover story that we beat Herr Hitler and his National Socialist nincompoops was all very well and everyone swallowed it up wholeheartedly.

Conflict in Syria: No Chemicals Used

Anniston: using Ware-Armitage cleaning products

Having sold weapons to both sides in the current conflict in Syria from day one of this civil war I  can safely say that no chemical weapons have been

Admiral Nelson Mandela: Discharge

Discharge

Just heard on the wireless that Admiral Nelson Mandela has been sent home following his discharge from hospital. 

This is disgusting! I don't know about you but whenever I discharge anything I want to throw it away and be done with. Blow my nose, wipe my huge, hairy, malodorous backside, vomit and stuff from other parts of the body

Seamus Heaney: An Obituary and Tribute

Rusty Bike

One has just heard about the death of an Irish poet called Seamus Heaney. Poets are very nice and all that sort of thing but poetry is very easy don cha know so I can't see what all the fuss is about.

Anyway, one realises that Seamus Heanous was a very popular poet and influcenced many people with his literary witticisms and ability to make things rhyme. But ultimately this is all a load of overblown fuss, storm in a teacup and all that.
 
Nevertheless, occasions like these warrant some kind of dedication to the man for providing much happiness to people especially his literary agent who made a fortune promoting Seamus' work.

So to that end I thought I would throw my lot in and pen a poetic ditty to the man, to not only encapsulate the essence of his life but to try to evoke the passion and spirit that he conveyed as he