Second Giraffe to Have a "J.F.K." in Denmark

Giraffe Strikes Back

Can't believe this! Not content with putting a bullet through the head of one giraffe in Copenhagen Zoo another Danish Zoo, this time, one called Jyllands Park Zoo, in Western Denmark is also going to do the same with of one of it's giraffes also called Marius. This constitutes giraffocide?

I don't know about you but if I was a giraffe called Marius living in Denmark I would pack my bags and leave pronto! So what is going on? Well the reason they want to give this second giraffe the "J.F.K." is the same as the first: EU regulations. 

The Scandal of Homelessness and Empty Houses.

Empty Slum Property

Just been reading some statistics in the newspapers about the shame of social housing in this country. 

The statistics are shocking and I had to get my butler to explain them to me. However, in essence there are over nearly 1,000,000 empty homes in this country but at the same time approximately 1,770,116 households awaiting a place to live! It's a disgrace!

How to Help A Man in Quicksand.

Speaks English

Quicksand! Yes quicksand its everywhere and you never know when you may find yourself caught in it or indeed stumble across a fellow up to his waist in it and unable to get out without assistance.

So I've come up with this marvellous strategy to follow in order to deal with a chap, any chap, who finds themselves sinking and needs help.

So imagine you turn a corner off your local high street and right before you is a man quickly sinking in quicksand and is calling for help. Let's imagine he has a name, err... off the top of my head let's call him Piers mOrgan. What's the first thing to do?

Danish Giraffe Murder & EU Hypocrisy

EU Giraffe

I'm writing to express my monstrous disgust at the way in which a giraffe called Marius was treated at Copenhagen Zoological park in Denmark recently.

Apparently the animal had to be murdered in cold blood as it was contravening EU regulations on interbreeding. 

Selfies: A Modern Disgrace!

Needs to be alone.

Just heard about the craze that is going up and down the nation, every nation, about 'Selfies' I heard that even President Barak Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron were seen giving themselves selfies at the commemoration of the death of Admiral Nelson Mandela

I don't know about you but I find this to be absolutely disgusting! If people want to give themselves a selfie then the least they can do is do it in private under the bed or in the study. Really I think it's an absolute disgrace! What is even worse is that people apparently take photographs of themselves whilst they are doing it! This is an abomination!