Those decent jonnies at Apple Inc had the wherewithal to send me one of their new Iphones for me to cast my opinion on.One has to say that one was not as impressed as with the previous version. This was related mainly to issues of weight.
The previous incarnation was 20% heavier. As you can imagine this meant that when I threw the new Iphone 5 at some passing Gypsies when it hit one of them it caused less of an injury than the previous one did. Admittedly, I was able to throw it slightly further but one considers the distance in length was affecting the accuracy of my shot; the further away the target the more diffucult it is to hit. So whilst I was aiming to hit the eldest Gypsy child I actually hit her blasted mother instead.
The Iphone 5 also has advanced speech recognition software enabling the damn thing to answer any question put to it. So I asked it where was the nearest boozer I could go to for a tipple in a trice. Completely over the damn thing's head of course. In any case if I wanted to have something answer my every question and answer me back every time I spoke I would just have to go back the last ex-wife thank-you-very-much so I don't need it coming from a blasted telephone!
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